Konfus

I started my orientation in August. So I have been working for approx 6-7 months now. I am so screwed. I make so many mistakes. Big time. The night shift people hate me. I am a torture to them. One time, I thought that blood is only available if the blood bank calls us. I was wrong. The night shift had to give two units of blood. I forgot to change IV sites on patients. It is only good for three days. The patient had phlebitis and I did not even see it. The night shift person had to change IV. I had many instances where I forget to open the lock on a piggy back or I accidentally did not set up the piggy back right. I cannot give good reports. I do not ask the right questions from the previous shift, like where patient come from, why patient still here, or what pertinent history I should tell the next shift. I feel like I always forget stuff. I try my best to cope with situation. It has been very busy. I feel like I always ran around and I still do not finish what I have to do. I left a patient in a bedpan and I forgot to tell the aide. I hang the TPN wrong. I checked the blood sugar too early. I did not act appropriately or proactively when a patient is complaining of something. I neglected a patient's concern. I did not listen to my patient. Patient complained that her legs were heavy. I put the patient back to bed. I was running around. I am so confuse. I called the doctor. Doctor called back put on hold. I was not able to answer. Then I forgot about that patient. I had to deal with many other patients. I was also engrossed in finishing my charting, that I forgot. I did not even eat that day. The next day, I learned that I should have called the MD again to inform them of the heaviness in her legs. The night shift person gave her lasix. I am so stupid. Why did I not call the doctor again? I forget things easily. I feel like nursing is not for me. I suck at it. I just cried at work yesterday because care management called for me but I was not able to call back. I am just not meeting their standards- I think. I know it - even though no one has told me. Everyday I do a mistake. Everyday I forget something. I wish I could go back in time. What will I do if they tell me I am not meeting their standards and I should be let go? What if they report me to the board of nursing? My colleagues night shift have been complaining about me. I am definitely going to get fired. My colleagues are complaining about me. I am so incompetent. In my 6 months of working, I had 4 patients that refused me because I am incompetent. The next day they just don't want me. I have been moved from one assignment to another. I guess I am just stupid. I am probably going to get fired. I feel like I am a very bad nurse. No one likes me because I ask too many questions. I should just quit. I thought I was doing fine but then I realize, I have very poor nursing judgment. They will fire me for sure, right? I hope not. My parents are so going to be disappointed. All the complaints would pile up, then I would get fired, won't have a job, license suspended. I am so scared. I haven't slept for several days now. Good thing I'm off.