I have been nursing for 3.5 months now and in that time I have had over 7 medication omissions, and 1 med error where I gave the a med to the wrong person. I have been counseled a couple times and I'm worried that I may be terminated soon if I can't get my act straight. I work in a LTC on the rehab unit. We can have up to 25 patients on the floor at times, but I've never had more then 19 since I've been with them. I work overnight with one aid and I am the only RN in the building, the other staff are LPN's and sometimes they can't answer my questions. When I was hired I was given three weeks of pseudo-orientation where I was working most of the time and not being trained, and my position is on weekends. Sometimes I can get an extra day in but most of the time I'm only there TWO days a week. Now my first big omission was PO vanco dosing for 10PM and I didn't give it two days in a row, and the next time I came in I didn't give it again. Thats three times in four days that I missed this order. after I was counseled I started sitting down with the MARs and doing a thorough check, or so I thought... This last big omission was for 6Am dose of valium and again three times I didn't give this med. After my review last night I finally registered it and put an incident report on my supervisors desk. I was so scared when I saw that I had missed a med this many times in a row again. I had a panic attack. We put a red dot next to the meds that the night nurse needs to pass, but somehow I passes by it 50 times without "seeing" it. The wrong pt with a med was when I was on another unit orienting. It was my second orientation day and I had the whole floor passing meds. I thought I knew a resident and gave her a bite of applesauce with metoporol in it, the pt was demented and non-verbal. The orienting nurse saw and stopped me thank god! This was my bad. I have gotten out of the habit of asking people their names and looking at their wrist bands since working here. Now I know that I needed to straighten out my act, but this last omission killed me. I'm not sure what to do? Or what to say to my supervisor? Is there no excuse for me? Between passing meds and answering call lights, helping people to bed, toileting people, answering the phone, getting meds from pharmacy, and completing treatments I feel so out of my body that when I do review the MAR I don't see things. I don't like that we have a manual system at all, and I take responsibility for what happens, but I can't help resenting the facility for the lack of support as a new nurse and lack of employee safe guards when it comes to passing meds. I also feel like everyone else is doing it right so whats wrong with me? Isn't the med pass supposed to be the "easy" part of nursing? At least I wasn't thinking that it would be one of my greatest challenges. I don't feel like a nurse. I feel like a fraud when I even tell people I'm a nurse. I want to be excited about my work, I want to be a hospice nurse and I thought I should have a bit of experience with pt care first before I did, I thought rehab nursing would be easy. Now I don't have any confidence with my work, I feel worse then I did when I was in clinicals in nursing school. Is it possible for me to get a job at a hospital with a REAL orientation if I have fudged it up so bad at this place? Can I even use this place as a reference if I've made so many mistakes? Who will hire me with this track record? I'm also worried that this anxiety and failure is going to follow me to the next place. I just moved here and I don't really have anyone to talk to please provide any advice. God Bless.