lil0401

I am no expert and don't post here often but read a lot on here and wanted to share my two cents incase it helps give you hope at all... I was convicted of 2 DUIs last year... before that had never been arrested or had anything on my record. In my state it is a criminal offense not just a traffic violation. There is also no alternative to discipline program in my state like I have read on here that many other states have. When I self-reported the first one I got a letter back a month later saying no action would be taken, kept my job, absolutely no stipulations. After I reported the second one I met with an investigator and obtained a lawyer experienced in dealing with health-care related issues. After I was charged with the second DUI I voluntarily went to treatment before I was 'recommended' to do anything. I was not working at that time because of a whole separate issue that was required to be reported to the board but was not further pursued. I have recently heard back from the board and my license will be on probation for 5 years with me having to drug test at my own expense, not able to work for a staffing agency or in home-health, and my employer having to fill out quarterly reports about work performance, attendance, habits, etc. There are other stipulations but those are three big ones. No narcotic restriction, no 40hr/wk maximum limit, no restriction about what shift I can work, no having to take time off to be evaluated, pretty much nothing that would have been a deal breaker for me to be able to keep my job at a large hospital system in my city unless they had not been willing to fill out the quarterly reports, but they are. I consider myself pretty lucky compared to what some other people have been put through for less serious things than I have done. The worst part to me is that it will stay on my license forever since there is no alternative to discipline program here. I don't live in NJ and have no idea what their program is like so it may be completely different for you but I hope it might help you a little. I personally do think that every individual case is a little different ,but that's just my opinion. Like I stated , after 1 DUI that I self-reported I received a letter saying no action would be taken. All I was required to do was report it within 30 days of the conviction. If I hadn't self-reported and they had found out I had the first when I got the second... it would have been a different story. I agree with the other posters about consulting with a lawyer, even though it was expensive and mine personally didn't change my outcome much, it was worth the money to ease my mind that I was doing everything possible to be prepared to fight for my license.Good luck to you!

NSIME... I tried to send you back but I don't have enough posts. I really appreciate your post and do have a lot to say to you. let me know if there is another way I could get it to you. Thanks again!

I was asked to sign a paper that just said I had the vials and they were documented as wasted at the pyxsis.. no other information was given to me. I know that having that vials on me was enough of a reason for them.

Yes. They didn't really give me a reason for the termination but having the vials was a violation of company policy so I am assuming that is it. Yes everyone who is terminated in my state has to notify the BON. I reported that I had them, offered to take a drug test, was never granted it, and terminated, didn't really go into any detail incase it would make my case worse off.

I self reported because I was terminated from my employment, which I am required to report to the BON.

I self reported to my board of nursing. Right now I am waiting and just evaluating to see what is even worth doing since as a result of everything that happened I not only lost my job but my place to live and some very "close" friends. I fear that my license will get taken away so it is not worth applying for jobs just to be fired and the financial troubles that are about to come my way because this was so unexpected are overwhelming. Thank you for your responses.

So I am writing this in hopes that there will be something said that keeps me hanging on for another day. I won't go into the whole legal situation of what I am dealing with now but I will say a few months ago I was working my job on a busy med-surg/telemetry floor on the busiest and probably most understaffed floor of our Trauma 1 and largest hospital in the state. I had a patient who had a medication prescribed by a physician who probably was suffering from an immense amount of fatigue and it wasn't communicated between various teams that were providing care for him, and the medication was started by me. There are many circumstances revolving around this decision including not only the doctor ordering it, verifying it, but also the team of trauma doctors on her side, the pharmacist, and finally, that last safety net, me. I called in and talked to in person the attending consulting physician with this patient that day who later on in the Root Cause Analysis (RCA) claimed she never saw the order in the MAR or it physically hanging and she "always checks this". Well the charting proved differently but nonetheless even after the autopsy proved otherwise 2 months later, I still felt responsible. I felt this way for 2 months and just because the autopsy proved otherwise it didn't go away. I had sought out a Primary Care Physician and Psychologist with the help of my manager to help me through this time. While it helped, I don't think there is anything that could have stopped me from feeling responsible. Anyway, after a long FMLA leave of absence since I knew it wasn't safe for me to take care of patients in that state, I came back to a horrible shift of 5 aggressive and very agitated patients, 2 of which required sitters, and I made a mistake of overlooking putting wasted vials of IV ativan in my pocket. They were empty, we have double rooms and during the night (which most of the the time I work days but my PTO had run out so I worked a day shift and then picked up a night ) if the room is close to the nursing station, sometimes I put the vial in the larger sharps container there. This is what I meant to do and due to the craziness of the shift, I forgot. I understand that people will probably think I am just denying my problem, but I am not doing that and believe me nothing you say is going to make me feel worse than I am already feeling. I know just having the vials made me eligible for termination, I know I screwed up hugely. I actually had been prescribed Ativan after the incident happened and will admit there were nights I would take one and it wouldn't be enough to suppress the anxiety so I would drink something with it, but I was prescribed it and I know this isn't the appropriate use for it but that is when I came clean with my therapist and have been seeing them very frequently to help with everything. If you have anything negative to say please don't comment, I've had barely any support and I have done my research, I know what you think of a story like mine. I'm not asking you to believe me but maybe have some guidance on what I should do next? I have hired a lawyer and self-reported and just waiting. Should I even try to apply for jobs? Is it a hopeless case? Right now I don't feel like there is any coming back from this but want to assure myself that I did try everything in my power. Thank you!

I did get order clarifications for those drugs I gave together, they said to give everything I could to bring down the pain in giving those medications. This of course was the resident, not the attending who got talked to who would have never cared had if he had never been called out. He had no idea what the orders were. i agree that the nurse should have never said something in front of the patient and the Dr. Should have never reacted that way and said those words, I am just not sure how out of everyone I am the one who was lectured and had to send an email to him? Thank you so much for your responses, I appreciate them greatly!

I just got bored reading that last response So I'm sure not many others are going to want to either haha. Basically I have a NM that treats me differently and I know it sounds crazy but she truly takes any little opportunity to bring me down and I have been nothing but respectful to her and done everything she asked of me. I am to the point where I don't know what to do anymore, she ruins my week everytime sometime something happens because I take this job very seriously and want to do a good job. I just don't feel supported by her at all and she controls my job so I feel absolutely terrified all the time.

Thanks for your guys' responses! I am about 6 months into my job now and I was not let go after that time period she gave me as everyone could see that I do open up in time I am just quiet at first and terrified about doing my job right. IT was just weird because my preceptors told me they were the same way when they started, quiet and concerned about making a mistake all the time because they were brand new. My focus was always on my patients. I have gotten to know all the staff now And LOVE all of them. Now that whole thing is over though I feel like my manager has found new after new "situation" for me to get in trouble for that don't even make sense and I'm getting to the point where I don't know what to do anymore. A couple weeks ago I had a patient who was getting a lot of pain medication at once, a pca, percocet, and roxicodone all could be given at the same time and was super demanding about getting it the second he could. He was in a lot of pain and very opiod tolerant and then 15mg oxycodone on top of his morphine pca wasn't even touching his pain. I had called his team twice to try to change his medications and they never did while I was on shift. nbd... couple days go by and the head attending was back assessing the patient and they had increased his pca and oral pain med dose at this time. RNs allegedly were given all the oral pain meds together and one RN that day told the doctor, infront of the patient, that she didn't feel comfortable doing this all at one time like other RNS did. The doctor freaked out, bc it was infront of the patient and that is his licencse at stake, said he didn't understand why we wouldn't use our nursing judgment and spread those out, ( I guess the patient seemed confused at this time but not at the time I had him) and went to our manager and yelled, called that nurse a b****, and threatened to take his pts off the floor. I was working that day and my NM goes back in the charting which she barely knows how to use anyway and finds my name and calls me in. She says I was the first to do it and then people started doing it after me ( like thats my fault ) I explain my side that i tried to get it changed, he was alert and oriented, I followed orders, and I never gave when he was confused. She says she understands but makes me write an email to the doctor explaining my side. ( doesn't sound like she understand to me). So I do and a lot of the nurses on the floor new about this and they all supported me and told me to stand up for myself I didnt do anything wrong. One of the team leads went back and looked at charting realized I was not the first or second to do this and their were 5 of us total so for her to just randomly choose me and make me write this email was wrong. She went and talked to our NM about it who then changed her story and was like Oh I totally understand now I will talk to her about it ( which she never admitted that she knew I wasn't the first one and these 4 others had at least 5 years more nursing experience than me, I have barely 6 months, or mentioned to me that the doctor sent an emailing apologizing for freaking out the next day, the team lead told me that ). The only other thing she said was she understood where I was coming from at that time. Then I had a patient that I couldn't stand that I was going out of my way to do things the way she wanted and she was complaining about her night shift nurse and pharmacy all day to me and I was just trying to make her happy. Then at night she complained about me and how I didn't wear gloves and gown everytime i was in her room. She is a CF patient who we get all the time and we always wear gowns and gloves when we go in there but if I just walked in real quick to ask a question and not touch anything sometimes I didn't and there are SO many people who don't wear them. So she lied about that, then said I ran over all her Iv tubing ( not true and I switched out the tubing she thought I ran over) but made the night nurse switch all of it. Also told the night nurse I left the clips unsterile when I took them out of her IV and some people put sterile caps on them. The reason I do that is because I switch out the cap every time I hang something new I think that is more sterile then placing some cap that doesn't even fit properly. She, of course, disagrees and says she has never seen that before which 80% of our floor does that. She complains to the CF coordinator who then complains to our manager. I talk to our manager about it and she asks if I want to switch and I said I really don't care i talked to her about it we are doing fine now and she was like well I am going to go talk to her and see if she wants to switch. my thoughts were why?? our NM does not usually handle that type of stuff our TLs are excellent and can handle that or our ANM. We don't usually just ask people if we want to switch we do if they say they want a new new. I feel like by our NM going in there and offering to switch nurses she is taking her side and saying what I am doing is wrong. It makes the patient have the upper hand and makes her feel like yea my nurse was doing something wrong Later on our NM sent out an email saying it is policy for us to wear gown and gloves ANYTIME we go into a CF patient's room. I talked to my coworkers and they said they have gone in their millions of times just to ask a question or drop something off real quick without gowning up, so once again I get called out for something everyone does. I understand that my NM has to make her feel comfortable and listen to her concerns, but she could still stand up for me and not straight out offer a new nurse, tell her I was following policy and not doing anything wrong but if she still wants a new nurse we can get her one, which I know is not what she said. I don't know what to do anymore.

I have been working at an amazing hospital for 6 months now and I truly love my job... primarily because of the other nurses I work with... they are SO amazing and the teamwork on my floor is phenomenal. The only person I have been having troubles with is our Nurse Manager who I am pretty sure hates me but I'm sure that probably sounds crazy... just to shorten to story I will give a few short examples of what has happened since I started.. and I am a new nurse by the way which our floor caters to and loves to have because it is a wide variety med surg floor, great place to start out on. A month after I started working my preceptor said I was doing amazing, she didn't think I ever had done anything she was concerned about clinically wise and was doing so much better than she did at this time a year earlier. I got all my things done on time, no complaints from my patients. Anyway I had a progress meeting with my preceptor assistant manager and manager and I said I thought things were going fine I was starting to get the hang out things but still a lot that I didn't know which they didn't expect at this point as this floor is the busiest and most hectic floor in the whole trauma 1 hospital. so new things are constantly being learned but it is fun. After the meeting my nurse manager asked me to stay because she just wanted she if she 'got the feeling that I wanted to be here and maybe switching me to another floor. I was flabbergasted, never had I said this and I ams sure I looked a little scared but this floor is very scary and every nurse said this is a normal feeling at first. blah blah blah longer story short I find out she doesn't like that I come off as quiet and doesn't know If i will be able to fit in and be part of the "family", gives we 3 shifts to prove that i can or else Im fired. I was so hurt but really had no time to dwell if I wanted to keep my job b/c no matter what I'm doing. I'm not a quitter. I am quiet at first but as I had reiterated SO many times I open up this was just a whole new situation for me and i was so concerned about doing my job, that was my first focus. And as I had said, I did open up and love ALLL of my co-workers!! I don't know what I would do without them. The only thing that sucks is that now she has found new ways to make me feel like crap and there is only so much I can do the defend myself without being disrespectful and un professional. blah. She keeps coming up with dumb thing after dumb situations that don't even make sense and I can tell she barely looked into and then just coming to them with me even though there are multiple people involved just as much if not more than me. I don't know what to. I want to stand up for myself, but she is my boss, and there is only so much more I can take. I don't need someone patting my back telling me how awesome I am everyday or ever for the matter but I cant take the constant criticism that is one sided and not based off actual facts either its a he-said she-said thing. I LOVE the support that I get from my co-workers but ultimately it is her respect I need and I honestly don't know what she doesn't like me. I don't know what else or how to handle anything professionally. I want to do that but it is also important that I stand up for myself. ANY advice would help and be SO greatly appreciated!!!!!