nelligolitely

I went to PCCC. I think their day program is excellent, and probably in retrospect their night program too, but I just don't have confidence in myself. If there are opportunities for you to "slip by" (ex. Not having to be observed doing a certain skill), don't take it. Let them give you a hard time in school. I think you'll be a better nurse for it. I was always afraid of being kicked out, so I just prayed I wouldn't get the hard patients. Trust me, you'll get them sooner or later, and you'll have a lot more assistance as a student. -Nellie

I appreciate everybody's advice, and I really do want to take it. Unfortunately, with my depression, thinking about a new job is overwhelming. I'm going back to the nursing department tonight 3-11 after being off for two weeks. I have to repeat my probationary period, and I've lost some pay to being on disability. If I was at a new place I wouldn't have gotten paid at all for past two weeks... I'm a nervous wreck and still can't concentrate, and to top if off I went for bloodwork last week. Now the doctor wants to see me; he says my "arthritis factor" is high and some other tests were questionable. I assume he means RA Factor, but my pain is in BIG joints, and I'm exhausted all the time - not s/s of RA. I know this led to last exacerbation of depression b/c I felt I could not physically do my job. I know I can fake it in Recreation, so I haven't ruled this out. I'll see how tonight goes and I have Dr. appt. tomorrow. I'll keep all informed. Please don't think I'm a wimp for not leaving yet. Like a said, a new job would be daunting right now. I haven't ruled this out, either, but if the problem is me, I'm going to take it with me everywhere I go...

Are you really a survey nurse? That would mean so much to me if you know what goes on; I always think the facility is tricking the survey nurse.

Part of my reason for staying at this nursing home is because I'm a civil servant. I get free health,dental, and prescriptions, and I pay into a great pension plan. Most people here are "lifers". I know, this breeds mediocrity but I always rose above it. I admit I'm scared to move on. Being on sick leave now, I'm losing $$$ rapidly. I'm also glad I had carryover sick and vacation days as it is. If I was new somewhere, I wouldn't have these... It's a double-edged safety net! I am considering moving on. I had an offer from a friend of a friend, to run an Adult Day Care Program. I KNOW school didn't prepare me for this, and I would be the general manager! They said my Alzheimer's Association background, and my RN and Activity Director certification is a great combo for this. The money is actually less but I think I need to bite the bullet and try it. I'll let you know how the interview goes...

Thanks for advice. I don't feel like a wonderful nurse... I had made those errors, and feel like there's so much I don't know. I'm pretty sure facility will put me back on probation, but orientation is over. The way they see it, I had 6-8 wks, and even if I wasn't watched, I should know the system by now. I think I kind-of do and wouldn't gain much more knowledge, just confidence. I don't think any facility can TEACH me that.

I'm in N.J. It's a two-year program, but I needed to take a few pre-requisites so it took me three years. You have to already have Chemistry, Microbiology, A&P, Growth & Development, and some other regular college classes before you begin.

I'm beginnning to doubt the 2-yr program I just graduated from. In reading some other posts, especially from new grads and nursing students, I find a lot of things I didn't know, like potassium I.V. tubing, where to give Lovenox s.q., what to mix calcium carbonate with, etc... We were an evening program, and we knew we "lucked out" with a lot of easy professors, but I assumed when I graduated and passed the NCLEX I wouldn't be behind others from other programs. I'm also concerned about the NCLEX. (I wrote this in the survey they just mailed to me.) Some of the best nurses I know, or have had the privelage of working with, did not do so hot in classes or on the NCLEX. I trust them with my life, but here I am, low self esteem and all, and I passed with 75 questions! My point? I don't think classroom, NCLEX, or even clinical is a good predictor of success. At least in some cases. I wish I had a tougher clinical, although I'm glad I didn't get kicked out.

To those that gave me advice, thank you so much. To RyanAaronsMom, thank you especially for that "staying in the moment" advice. It got me through last Monday and Tuesday. Unfortunately, I lost it on Wednesday and had to call in sick. I couldn't stop crying and I felt exhausted...Calling in during your probation is a BIG no-no at our place, so I went to my psychiatrist the next day for many reasons including needing "a note." My doc said I needed time off. I had to agree b/c I'm afraid of making more mistakes. He signed a sick-leave notice. Of course, I feel extremely guilty about getting out this way. I carried over sick days from whence I worked in the Recreation dept. at this facility, so I will not lose pay. However, I have to start my probation over when I go back. I went in on Friday to talk to personnel dept. and hand in my doc's paperwork. They were so supportive and told me not to give up. They said they didn't care that I'd be out for a little while, and told me to feel better. A trusted colleague, director of a special care unit, suggested I come back in my Recreation capacity until my family stressors and mental health get better. She can make this happen - there are precedents. She said people will talk, but I can just say "I'm entering Nursing more slowly" - maybe work per diem someplace else at same time. I said I'd think about it. Friends and family want me to think about nothing for the next few days. (Stress obviously took a toll on my body). What does everybody think? Is this a good idea or a horrific one? Has anybody ever done this? Will it destroy my RN chances? I know I will make the ultimate choice, but I just want to research it.

None of your choices are as bad as you think. I'm a new grad so take my advice with a grain of salt, but... #1 - I know fellow nurses who honestly admitted being fired for med error in an interview, and still got hired no problem. The interviewer said, "anybody who says they never made a med error is lying!" 32 - The other choice is not to say anything. Here in N.J., there are laws against giving a bad reference because it can be misconstrued. It is actually so protective that that SOB Angel of Death could not be prevented from getting new jobs repeatedly! I'm not saying I agree with the laws, but they were there to protect people like you who have made errors, owned up to them, and wanted to move on. If the facility didn't report you to the Board of Nursing, I assume they trust you to work again. Just trust yourself...

KathC, I had to look at the name to make sure I didn't write this! I, too, graduated in December and have exactly the same problems in my nursing home in N.J.

Hi everybody. I'm a new RN grad from a 2-yr. program. I know I'm not typical; no job ever comes easy to me. My bosses and supervisors have no problem with me, it's usually MY problem. I have low self-esteem, and have been fighting depression/anxiety my whole adult life... Why, then, would I go into nursing, you ask? Well, I love anything medical, and love to help people. I don't mind changing bedpans, cleaning emesis or any other body fluid. I especially like knowing I cleaned a wound so well that the next day it looks and feels better. I worked in the Recreation department in a nursing home for 13 years, and finally decided to go to Nursing School. School comes easy to me. I got A's and B's even though I worked full time. I even got 2 awards at pinning. I had warnings in clinical that I might not handle stress well, but I talked to my professor and she said I'm just over-cautious. I thought I'd be better off in familiar surroundings, so I stayed in my nursing home rather than try acute care. I had a 6 wk. "orientation" and then began working on my shift alone. My "orientation" was more like, "come in every day and we'll put you to work so you can get used to it." On occasion, they'd send me to a unit that was properly staffed, but the nurses took the opportunity to let me do the oppressive med-pass while they caught up in other neglected areas...More often, I'd be figured into the staffing, and then everybody would be peeed because they had to stop to help me. One night about 2wks into orientation, I worked Mother's day. Since it was a holiday ON a weekend, it was incredibly understaffed. I got really nervous and made a medication error. It was just a really late narcotic, and the other nurses said not to worry. I began to lose my confidence. :chair: Last Friday, I made another blairing error, and I don't know how I did it! I'm soooo careful, but I gave a resident her ambien from the wrong bingo card. (Same dose, but count was off). The oncoming nurse again said not to worry, but I lost even more confidence. I'm probably the only person who does all her checks, and I obviously am so distraught I can't focus. I cry on my way to work, then sit in the parking lot until my eyes are less swollen. I don't want to go any more, and tried to tell supervisors, even the Administrator (would you believe the DON position was phased out?) but they all said they know I'm conscientious and I'll be fine. I see a psychiatrist, but my appt. hasn't come up yet. I'm physically exhausted b/c I don't have time to sit or take breaks at work (too slow) and mentally exhausted b/c I constanty re-live my mistakes. I want to call in but I'm on probation, and the facility is so short that I feel guilty I'm making matters worse. Is there an organization or network of people who can help me? Maybe I shouldn't be a nurse, but I don't even know how to get out of it right now. Is there a genre of nursing I can go in, with no experience, that is less stressful but still rewarding? I'm desperate.

Wow, I wish ANYBODY at my nursing home, besides the residents, would say they loved me! LOL. I agree with everybody else. Get a lawyer. You were wrongfully terminated. Maybe the ANA being you're a student could help, or a similar organization for CNA's. I've worked with too many CNA's that have NO love in their hearts! We cherish our male workers. They make the male residents feel more comfortable, physically can usu. handle more, and give us a chance to celebrate diversity. Unfortunately, I'm having the NewNurse troubles at work, and nobody has time to train me. You'll be a great nurse. Hang in there.

I voted "within two years", although I just started. Kudos to all those who stated they loved what they do and will stay in indefinitely. It made my day to know there are still some out there. I don't think I was cut out for nursing. I'm extremely conscientious and love my patients. I don't want to brag but I did very well in school, too. However, I leave every day exhausted and only doing 1/2 of what was expected of me by the facility. I never get breaks or dinner, and actually never sit down to do paperwork until my shift is over. I've actually had to start taking Xanax and I've never had to before. Even that, I can only take when I get home b/c I'm afraid it will make me tired... I agreed to move to Pa. by my sis next year, and I think I'll downsize my apartment and lifestyle, and get an office job. I can't handle the pressure, mentally or physically. I never thought I was a wimp; I've run a marathon, and used to be an activity therapist. Nursing is different, though. They can't teach you to enjoy it from school...

Tiffany, it sounds like you do a lot of work. I think some RN's won't admit but they just do what you do on a daily basis, and they probably make THREE TIMES what you make! Yes, a good RN knows the value of the physiology behind insulin, and all the things that can go wrong with a G-Tube or wound care, but in the hurried world we live in, I've known a few who cut corners or get comfortable just doing what you mentioned you do. You are gypping yourself out of a lot of money! As for the title, "Charge Nurse", it seems to be the facility's brunt of the responsibility. Shame on them, but you know the scope of your practice, and your nickname isn't "TiffanyNurse" so I wouldn't worry too much. You have a good head on your shoulders. I wish you could work in NJ.

Just curious how long it should be taking me for a med-pass in long-term-care. I know the Department of Health mandates only one hour each way, but wondering if others have trouble achieving this... I have 26-30 patients, and takes me from 7:30AM to 10:00AM

A little advice from a new grad just weeks ahead of you... Enjoy the time to learn in the classroom. It may be too hectic to teach you anything once you're on the floor. I agree some things you can only learn by doing. However, some need to be learned before you get there...

Bindy, Thank you for sharing your post. I'm a new RN grad and have a lot of the same difficulties, although I was too frightened to go into acute care. My long term care facility must hire from the same nurse pool as your last job! I've only been at this a little over a month, and have luckily been o.k. on my skills. My only problem is being pushed out on my own way too early, and losing my confidence. I was totally honest when brought in for a meeting (sent a resident out to dialysis without afternoon meds), and said I was overwhelmed and in middle of a morning med-pass. No calendar or 24-hr report mentioned this lady was to go for dialysis, and the nurse's aides just got her ready to go as usual. The ADON said somebody should definitely have been orienting me, and it was not all my fault. She thanked me for being honest, and put me on a closer-watched orientation. Problem is, the shift supervisors make comments like "If you haven't gotten it yet, you're not going to get it." Every day, they send me to a unit by myself. I start the morning med-pass, and then the ADON comes up and says, "They never should have done that. You're still on orientation. Please go to Unit so-and-so with nurse X who will help you." -Thank goodness for this ADON. The other nurses say, "Well, how long is she going to be on orientation?" and the ADON and staff-development say, "Until she feels comfortable." That makes me feel guilty because usually I'm the last one to admit I'm comfortable. I'll settle for them sending me out when an honest nurse feels comfortable with me. I wish all new nurses with similar experiences could band together to get better orientations. I still think there should be hospitals with lower ratios for new grads, even if it means a little less pay. It would be our choice to work there, just to get our feet wet.

TiffanyCMT, It sounds like you do exactly what I do on a daily basis. 30-32 patients in a nursing home, all I do is one long, 8-hr med-pass. I'm a new RN grad. and have time to do nothing else. Thank you for going to school and wanting to do that. We need more professionals like you.

I liked Juliet Binoche in "The English Patient" -tres Florence Nightengale Actually wish I could be like Laverne from "Empty Nest" or Haleh from "ER" The male nurse in "John Q" -also good, very professional and heartwarming.

I wish, when I was in school, that I took on more opportunities during clinical experiences. I am a nervous individual, and would never volunteer to be humiliated in front of my peers. We always risked not-so-constructive criticism so many of us didn't offer more than we needed to. Now I can see that making a small mistake in school and having the instructors get angry sure beats having doubts when you are alone.

Hi! I just graduated in Dec. (Passed NCLEX, yeah!!) and my FAVORITE professor would not stop hailing the wonderful opportunities at the VA Hospital where she works. She says they have a wonderful training program that does not leave you in a lurch, and will transfer you to any state you want if you are moving. The benefits are wonderful, and also carry state-to-state. You are right; your liscence does, too. Albeit we are in NJ, I think this would be okay for you. Good luck.

Northern NJ - I was offered $23.00/hr. with benefits for RN in a Nursing home.

Mine is a very similar situation! I just started in Mid-April and I decided to stay at the Nursing home I was already working in, as an Activity Person. I'm an older grad. and I thought I would ease into the hospital setting after getting my feet wet in the nursing home. Well, I'm questioning my career choice right now, too! I'm still not completely on my own yet, but I do the med pass for 30 patients, and my preceptor is busy doing other things. I'm always way behind and feel like I'm going to jeopardize my lisence. My patients have about 3-4 meds every 4 hours, and some are q 2hrs! I stay on the med cart the entire 3-11 shift, and have learned absolutely nothing else! I want to leave the field before I even get started, or work in a doctor's office but I can't find that job either. I wish there was a facility that would have a slower pace because they hire more help, albeit paying the staff less. I wouldn't mind at this point...some pay is better than nothing if I up and quit.