rubevicious

Hey everybody, I just joined on here..I read a couple of these threads and they seem comforting. I am here because I feel like I need advice from someone with more nursing experience than I have. I recently received my lvn nursing license in May. I haven't worked as a nurse yet. All throughout nursing school I just felt like I never had enough time to really soak in the material I read. Of course I learned a lot but I don't feel like it's enough. I've had my life planned out since middle school...I became a CNA after highschool and worked in a rehabilitation center and nursing home. Now that I'm here, and I can actually get a job as an LVN, I find myself too scared to try. I did go and apply to two places but they both weren't hiring...that was a month ago. I feel like the longer I wait..the more material I've learned in nursing school is escaping my mind...and I put up my defense mechanism of withdrawing from reality and staying at home just living day by day doing nothing other than binge eating, stressing, and losing a lot of my hair. I want to be a nurse, I've always wanted to..but I'm scared. You know, what if I mess up my first job so badly and lose my license? I'm especially concerned for my parents, they are aged and I have to take care of them. I am just 22, I will be 23 in 9 days. I just never imagined my life would turn out like this. I'm scared ********...if you have any advice please tell me. Thank you for reading.