Lorel

Hi and thanks everybody, I would like to answer each post individually but my computer is going nuts so I will make this short. I have read and appreciated all the personal stories that you have shared with me. I am moved by how much you care. I am not here asking for sympathy as some here think and I have identified several bits of dvice I have gotten such as finding a hospital that will help with tuition, number of years before classes expire, and other paths to explore that might lead me to the road to some financila help. The only reason I let you all know that my husband would not pay is to let you know that was not an option. I also said that I would not leave him so that is not an option either. I appreciate all of your feelings on the subject, but do not appreciate being told that I am here for sympathy and that I have disregarded all the good advice I have gotten. On the contrary, I have submitted two appltions and for grants and I am looking into day care in my home. The only reason I brought up the religion is because I did have C.S friend who brought up the point about maybe this was not meant for me and this would be evidenced by the fact that no matter what I do, something is always in the way. It really seemed to make sense and she had quotes from Science and Health to back up that claim. I just wanted some input on the subject. I never thought anyone would take it so far as to think I was using that as an excuse to not try anymore. Someone asked about my choices with money...well yes, I have bounced a few checks over the years and I am not perfect and I have never changed majors. I did get a liberal arts B.A when I left nursing school becuase I had to repeat peds. and I could not do that and focus on my daughter who was just placed in special ed and the new baby. I'm not really sure why he won't pay. Maybe because I was in school when we met in 1995...my first semester was fall of 94...I left nursing school in 98 and graduated in 99 and he thinks that was long enough in school. It does not really matter though, I don't want anyone to pity me. If I wanted pity I would tell you about the rest of my life...but I won't. I have more pride than that. I have been listening and I have gotten some great advice...which I am following up on and some love and suppport that I did not expect...but do appreciate. It reminds me that nurses are one big family. So on that note; I will check in from time to time, but please do not feel obligated to answer this note. I never expected this many responses nor did I ever ask for or expect any sympathy or worse yet...pity. I am not looking for excuses either...just financial ionformation so I can do this without seeking a divorce or doing anything that is dishonest. And as far as not being a good nurse because I have baggage...I'd be willing to bet that most nurses need a red cap to help with their baggage. That is one thing that is behind the desire to heal others...the need to be healed themselves. I know this is true for many...many nurses. In one way or another, helping others is also helping themselves. But like any other professional, I would do what is right and that is to leave that sh*t at home where it belongs. Thanks for everything!

Hi and thanks everybody, I would like to answer each post individually but my computer is going nuts so I will make this short. I have read and appreciated all the personal stories that you have shared with me. I am moved by how much you care. I am not here asking for sympathy as some here think, and I have identified several bits of advice I have gotten such as finding a hospital that will help with tuition, number of years before classes expire, and other paths to explore that might lead me to the road to some financial help. The only reason I let you all know that my husband would not pay is to let you know that was not an option. I also said that I would not leave him so that is not an option either. I appreciate all of your feelings on the subject, but do not appreciate being told that I am here for sympathy and that I have disregarded all the good advice I have gotten. On the contrary, I have submitted two applications and for grants and I am looking into day care in my home. The only reason I brought up the religion is because I did have C.S friend who brought up the point about maybe this was not meant for me and this would be evidenced by the fact that no matter what I do, something is always in the way. It really seemed to make sense and she had quotes from Science and Health to back up that claim. I just wanted some input on the subject. I never thought anyone would take it so far as to think I was using that as an excuse to not try anymore. Someone asked about my choices with money...well yes, I have bounced a few checks over the years and I am not perfect and I have never changed majors. I did get a liberal arts B.A when I left nursing school becuase I had to repeat peds. and I could not do that and focus on my daughter who was just placed in special ed and the new baby. I'm not really sure why he won't pay. Maybe because I was in school when we met in 1995...my first semester was fall of 94...I left nursing school in 98 and graduated in 99 and he thinks that was long enough in school. It does not really matter though, I don't want anyone to pity me. If I wanted pity I would tell you about the rest of my life...but I won't. I have more pride than that. I have been listening and I have gotten some great advice...which I am following up on and some love and suppport that I did not expect...but do appreciate. It reminds me that nurses are one big family. So on that note; I will check in from time to time, but please do not feel obligated to answer this note. I never expected this many responses nor did I ever ask for or expect any sympathy or worse yet...pity. I am not looking for excuses either...just financial information so I can do this without seeking a divorce or doing anything that is dishonest. And as far as not being a good nurse because I have baggage...I'd be willing to bet that most nurses need a "red cap" to help with their baggage. That is one thing that is behind the desire to heal others for some...the need to be healed themselves. I know this is true for many...many nurses. In one way or another, helping others is also helping themselves. But like any other professional, I would do what is right and that is to leave that sh*t at home where it belongs. Thanks for everything!

No, I had not heard of that...C.S nursing that is. I'm sure I'd have to convert though and I would not do that. Thanks for the tidbit though!.

hi and thanks, yes...3 classes and that is 1 1/2 semesters. tuition is $550.00/credit hour. i owe around $3,200 to the school. i can't go anywhere else without transcripts from sxu. you've got guts...i see that but leaving is not an option. i don't want anyone to stick up for me, i found out that wouldn't happen long before i met him but what i do need is to find some loophole or some way to get the assistance i need. i have already gotten tons of confidence from all of you here! thanks!

hi and thanks, my first daughter was 6 when we married and i did not marry him for money. he holds me at night when my dreams wake me, and he was terriffic in the delivery room both times. we go camping and watch movies and we share many common intersests. we are not hungry and although i wish we had more money, we have a house and transportation and clothes. he puts up with my family and that is not easy and he knows my past and still loves me anyway so i don't think i made a mistake. financial aid told me with a b.a i can't get another loan. i might need therapy, but i also need to figure this problem out. i have taken 6 1/2 years off. i am ready to go back.

hi and thanks, i have no team right now and no financial aid because i have a ba...the school already told me that. like this quote says... few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be charles brower and thanks to all of you i am getting that. thanks for your concern and support.

what about the transcripts...aren't they the determining factor?

hi and thanks, your words are so true and you are right about the cna salary. so on the flip-side of that if i went back to work to pay for tuition and was working and going to school, the childcare and my student loan payments would eat my whole check and much of my study time would be taken by that job. is this wrong?

hi and thanks!, just one question...they would want my transcripts too right?

hi and thanks, i read your post and i found myself wanting to say the same things i just said so i will spare you the headache of reading it again. i see i have made you angry too so i will only say i know my marriage needs work, but in the meantimne i need to go back to school and i need to find a way to get there without him and without leaving him. i really do appreciate the time you took to respond to this issue. thanks!

hi, my oldest daughters nincname was lilpeanut. :) i don't want to be a christian scientist, but i had been really confused after all the help i had recieved as a result of reading science and health. i was beginning to think that a religion that could help me that much must have some valid points, but when it comes down to it i take my kids to the doctor when they are sick and i would not expect them to be healed because as c.s teaches, disease is the result of a lie and once the lie is identified and eliminated, so would be the illness. i know god can and does heal people, but it is not because he reveals any given illness to be a lie but because he chooses to work a miracle. other than not paying for my tuition, we are ok...no...that's a lie we are not ok. we fight often, mainly about the kids and money, but as i said to someone elese, i am catholic and divorce is not an option. i am pushing my girls to get an education so they can be independant and teaching my son compassion so he will be kind and gentle with his wife if marriage is his choice. the only yeah buts are that everywhere i turn for help, i am turned down and i can't help that; so if you are angry with me just line up because for one reason or another his whole family is mad at me too. i know nursing is what i want and the reverse psychology is insulting if that is what you are trying to do. i may be in a difficlut situation, but i am not ignorant. my role as a wife does not reflect the role i would take as a nurse. i am not a doormat. i married him for better or worse and now i am trying to find other ways to help myself as he has chosen not to pay for this debt. the situation is unfair and i wish it were different, but i can't force him to pay and i don't want to cause any more conflict than is already there so i am here looking for advice on how to get where i need to go and on the side i asked if anyone had an opinion on the spiritual advice i recieved from a friend. what is it you want me to change?

i wish i could live near you too. :)

hi and wow!, yeah, i have heard..."oh really? who's going to pay for it?" too. i don't think i have the guts to claim the single parent thing and i know if i embarassed him publicly like that it would destroy out marriage. i know this may sound stupid to some, but i am still catholic and as such divorce is out of the question so i would not want to make my situation any worse. i appreciate you taking the time to tell me that though. oh, i almost forgot...the cs friend is the only friend i had and she was such a kind person and so easy to talk to. she had been helping me deal with some issues that have been unresolved for a long time. something happened though and we are out of touch. i think she has her own issues to deal with and she needs her space. i had been on a couple other discussion boards trying to deal with my issue, then i found christian science. i felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and i could go on to try to follow my dream. i was only reflecting on my own inner-confilct that went along with her ways of spiritual healing; that maybe god did not intend for me to be a nurse, but rather to heal in other ways like a c.s practitioner or something. however, that would mean becomming a christian scientist and i don't know if i could do that. that is not my religion...as i said i am still catholic and my love for mary is keeping me there, as they don't pray to her and i could never give her up. i just threw that in to get others feedback from the religious aspect. i am trying to understand why all these things are always in the way. i did get some other ideas from your post though about how to get some financial help, and for that and everything you said...i thank you very much. i wish i had a friend like you. your terriffic!. thanks!

hi and thanks, that is why i left nursing school in 1998 and got a b.a in 99. i took 2 easy classes and got my degree because at the time i had a 1 year old and a 8 1/2 yr old who was just put into special ed becuase she would not do her work. she is almost 16 now and the baby...now 8 gets almost straight a's and my 4 year old will be in pre-k soon. my oldest babysits and that is a big help especially if i need to study. so you see, i have already done what you have and i am ready to go back...but i can't get there no matter what i do. i am still trying, and i owe that to the encouragement i have gotten here, but none of the options are panning out. i need to win the lottery...or inherit big...or some other miracle. i know how hard nursing school is, i only have 3 classes left. i need to repeat peds. then community and rehab then i'm done. i don't mind waiting...especially if i know there is hope. thanks for your support!

hi and thanks, i'm willing to do anything within reason, but it doesn't mean much if i can't get back in classes. thanks for your support!

hi, and thanks, thanks for that. i can't go through the financial aid office because i have a b.a. i would take out more loans if i could. i will check with h.r as you said and maybe there is hope there...keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer too please. i do not believe in scientology either. scientology and christian science are entirely different. but that is another discussion. i too say..."free katie"!. like trinity...i am answering the call, but the line seems to be cut and i am stuck here in the matrix.

hi and thanks, i am the type that goes on a cna interview in a buisness suit. the last job i interviewed for i was mistaken for a doctor on rounds. what a compliment. anyway, preparedness is not an issue for me. i know what to say and what not to in most situations. nobodys perfect although i do try as much as i can. correct me if i am wrong, but i don't think i can get a grant with a b.a so that option i believe is out for me. i can't go to any other school either because i can't get my transcripts without paying them, and if i could do that i would simply finish there. i think i misspoke because you are the second person that thought i had a baby, but my youngest is 4 and i had a tubal shorlty after. i think i misspoke or something...i don't remember what i said on that topic. i had a 3.468 gpa. not tops, but acceptable anyway. i don't have child care besides me. i am sure if i died, his family would help somehow...but in reality no one on either side is in a position to help us. like i told someone elese a couple of posts ago, as far as religion goes, i am simply trying to explore all options to try to figure out where all these obstacles are coming from, if i am getting signs that i am ignoring, if i am on the right path regardless of what i want. if god does not want this for me, he can surely make it not happen. that is not an excuse...it is a reaction to finding "dead ends" everywhere i turn. it was just something i was considering. otherwise i am still cathoilc. thanks for all your input.

depression and add are all i know of. i've only been to counseling a couple of times. btw, this was not asked before now. thanks!

thanks...i'll do it...stat! :thankya:

thanks...i am saying this not defensively, just factually... what is holding me back is money. i cannot transfer credits until tuition is paid...i can't finish 3 classes till it is paid...i can't get a loan because i don't work and can't becaue we can't afford child care and i have already had bad experiences with neighbors. and even a hiring a neighbor is out of the question. i don't think i deserve it, but i feel i can earn the priveledge of getting it if given the chance. if i won the lottery i would still finish school and be a nurse because i know i can make a difference. i've known this since they asked us in 6th grade what we will be when we grow up. i got some more money advice here today and i will check it out. i would have thought though with the nursing shortage my school, my alma matter would have tried harder to help me. btw...or are you really meant to do something else....this is the part that is driving me nuts! thanks for your input!

thanks but i don't think so...i have a b.a so i think i am not elligible. thanks for the idea though.

hi ceceliajane, thanks for sharing that...really. i can empathise with your suffering. i have been through some myself, but it was long ago and not things that people want to talk about. i do know that things can be overcome and i really want this more than anyone knows, but the more i try and the more time that passes the more that doors are slamming in my face. i have not made my comments about christian science clear. i am catholic but since reading science and health and thinking about all the obstacles that seem to arise keeping me from my dream, i was considering the idea that maybe god did not have this planned for me, no matter how badly i wanted it. healing is not against my religion, it is just that my head is getting bloody from beating it against this brick wall and i want to know why it has to be so da*ned hard to be given another chance to help others. albert schweitzer said so well, "sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light." during those difficult times they rekindled one another's light. i can thank you all here for that. i never expected this large of a reaction to my post. thank you especially...i will pray for you. my kids are my life. without them...i don't know where i would be or what i would be doing. i will read that book you suggested too. god knows i need something...and only he knows what it is. i just wish he would tell me because i am getting really confused. we should talk offline too...your post really moved me. [email protected] if that is allowed to say here. thanks again and i hope that anyone who wants to talk offline will e-mail me. god bless you and everyone here. laurel

i do want to survive it...i want the chance to go back and do just that!. thanks for your suport. quote=pcloudy]that is so true. you can't make excuses - you just have to want to survive the bootcamp called nursing school. i started with 56 in my class and we graduated 12. if i had it to do all over again, i'm not sure that i would. that's difficult to say since i started at age 17 and am now 45. i did take a short break from full time nursing to teach high school. i prefer bedpans over that without a doubt. i am trying to decide right now if i should continue in nursing - risking another spinal fusion or worse - or retraining to do something else. nursing is an interesting profession but there is no glamour in it. i suppose, as a cna, you are well aware of that. there is some truth in the saying "where there's a will, there's a way" but you have to decide if the battle is worth the fight for you. there are some posts here that give you some ideas on financial aid and so on. some facilities provide tuition reimbursement to further your education. depending on where you work, they may pay for your school if you commit to a certain number of years after graduation. i wish you well.

thanks. i have been offline for a while becuase the power source on my computer was broken and it was not fixed tilll now. i will ckeck into these optopns...thanks for this. he was going to pay the tuition with some bonus money he might have gotten, but it turns out he didn't get it so i am still trying.

thanks...i'll rent it. i actually think i can pull this off...thanks to alll of you. i will let you know what happens and until then i will be around with whatever i can help out with. i have psych and spanish minors and i know some other useful cna/nursing stuff. thanks again, laurel