ashleyadih

I am a home health nurse, and have no experience whatsoever as far as large med passes go. I recently applied to, and was accepted at, a LTC facility here where I live. I worked there for a short amount of time before I made a med error, specifically with Vimpat. It was a drug I'd never heard of before, and honestly, I was in over my head. Hind sight is 20/20, and I can say with 100% certainty that I should have handed over my keys and informed my supervisor that I would be unable to complete that shift's med pass - as I was filling in for days after already completing my night shift. Not to make excuses, but I still was not completely familiar with the residents, and I was also using a new electronic charting tool that I had never used before. To make a long story short, I was supposed to give Vimpat to two different residents, but did not. To make matters worse, I charted not documented for one dose, then charted documented for another. I did not realize the full scope of my error until my supervisor called me that night while orientating with another nurse on a different floor to inform me of my error. It scared the crap out of me! But I was determined to learn from my mistake and learn as much as possible to prevent another mistake from happening again. However, today, I made another mistake - I gave a double dose of Xanax to a resident. To be honest, I'm scared, ashamed, embarrassed, and concerned about the effects the double dose will have on the resident. The DON called this afternoon and spoke with me, and let me know that I would have to be let go, and I completely understand. On top of that, I'm mortified that I was not more proactive in making sure that I did everything to prevent something like this from happening. And I'm scared, also, that I won't be able to 'bounce back' from my mistakes. I love nursing, always wanted to be a nurse, but I'm afraid that if I can't be the quality kind of nurse that is expected of me, then I shouldn't even bother going back to find another job. Where do I go from here?? I feel lost and a little hopeless to boot. I want to grow as a nurse, as well as a person, but I'm afraid I won't get another chance, and I'm also afraid to ask for another one. All in all, I'm very emotional about the whole situation. I don't see myself getting over this any time soon, not to mention that I'm really not sure how. ANY advice would be helpful. Thanks in advance...