Pearl13

Hey there, I'm a new nurse. I got my license in June. I was hired onto a MSICU unit in July. I went through a critical care training program and have been on my own since November. This week, on my first shift of three, I had one stable patient and an open bed. Half way into the shift I was told I was getting a transfer from the floor who was requiring a little more attention than the floor could provide but was overall stable. I received the patient at 2am and I called a code at 230. The patient passed at 249. It was my first code on my own, and my first death. Two nights later I had a second death. The patient was dnr/dni. I know there was nothing I could've done to prevent either death. My manager has assured me that I did everything I could and did everything correctly. I'm just having a hard time coping with two deaths so close together. I've earned the nickname "grim reaper" on my unit. Has this happened to anyone else? Any advice? Any truth to the superstition that deaths come in three's?

I am just about to enter my third semester of nursing school. I also recently started a PRN PCT position in the float pool of a major hospital. This is my first job in healthcare. I was so excited to start this position, but I'm honestly having a really hard time adjusting to it. I get very anxious and nervous before every shift. Not to mention I dread going in and want to cry! I hate that I feel this way. I love nursing school - and am hoping that this adjustment to healthcare is normal. Did adjusting to 12 hour night shifts and healthcare take a while for anyone else? Any advice? HELP!