kat062711

Thank you so much for the advice and helping me realize that it is not impossible. Your experiences have given me hope and lifted my spirits. It is still a scary path to be on but I am feeling more determined now. I am sure I will still have my down days but you have all really helped me, so again thank you for sharing it means a lot to me.

That is what I am most worried about, I do not have any connections like that. I am more than willing to do the program to keep my license and active but finding someone to hire me. I was told by the program once I sign the contract I have t tell them in the interview but I have not done that yet and I may be able to get this one job before that happens; but that also makes me nervous I don't want to mislead people but I need a job. I am not really sure what to do.

Michelle, did you have trouble getting a job with the program? Also I do not know your situation but has that disciplinary record made getting a job that much more difficult?

So I guess my plan from here is to call the nursing board case manager and find out where they are in the process. Find out if I need to start that program for sure (which honestly probably have to), contact the program start, and try to find a nursing job with the program. I was told I have to work as a nurse for half of the length of the program and my duration is a year. I just can't fathom someone hiring me knowing I am in the program but it happens and I will just have to keep trying. And I have some money coming in so I will have to get over the feeling of dread and anxiety and call and try to set up payment plans, and maybe find a cheaper more frugal way to buy food. The whole process just causes so much anxiety, and that is what has been shutting me down. So much anxiety and depression I feel like I can barely function...but if I don't act I will remain in that state and it is much to miserable to last long in that condition. It also does not help that my husband is a veteran suffering from PTSD and is just as depressed or worse. We are a pair. both depressed, but I need to be able to help him so I have to help myself.

Thank you for all of the advice. Also thank you for pointing out my error in looking to others who I perceived as doing worse, your right it wont help me. I was just trying to comfort myself. I wont give up. I need to learn how to stop berating myself and I think that is the hardest part. I keep thinking how I regret it and would do anything to change it- but I simply cannot. Its harder to keep trying to move forward. Once again thank you for the advice.

They have not asked my to come to them, I just had to write a response letter explaining myself, and I have not heard back. I did consult with a lawyer and she told me to do the peer assistance program. In the program I have to have random drug screens, therapy and my employer has to know and fill out a form quarterly about me, about how I am doing. Oh and I am not allowed to work night shift. I will do the program if I need to, cause I want to fix what I did and move on. Lesson definitely learned the hard way. The problem is that I cannot get a job. I have had 15 interviews and eventually I am going to ruin my credit, lose my car or who knows what. Also, I was not smart and did not get malpractice insurance. I was told conflicting information and the pro's and cons and I just did not get around to it. Did you mean the hospital that drug tested me for pre-employment is new or the peer assistance program? From what I was told the peer assistance program has been around for awhile at least in Colorado- It is supposed to help nurses who have drug addiction, alcohol DUI's and so forth. Although I do not have an addiction, nor did I ever- just misplaced acting out/rebellion. I feel like the restrictions is what residents go through for DUI's and I hate how I feel like I am being treated as a drug addict/criminal for 1 thing I did wrong. I understand that it can be a liability but my actual nursing record at the hospital is stellar, no marks against me, and I had high remarks from patient, staff and management. Part of me feels like I should try and find a new career, but I do not have any other skills unfortunately.

Ok, so I do not know if I selected the right category, none of the categories seemed to fit. So here is some background information on me. I am a relatively young nurse, 25, have 2 years of experience mostly in the hospital, and I also live in Colorado. So recently I did something incredibly stupid, maybe I did it because I had to grow up fast and be an adult from the age 16, possibly acting out, or most likely just plain stupid. So My husband and I were moving and I was trying to get a new job in a new city approximately 1.5 hours away from my current job. It took me 3 months and I finally had an offer, so I put my two weeks notice in- more like a month because I wanted to do right by my manager who gave me my first real break in my nursing career. Everything was set to go, but I had recently experimented with medicinal marijuana. I thought it would be out of my system, I did what many people I know and took a cleanse as well. Anyhow I still failed the pre-employment drug test. It was reported to the state board of nursing. I lost the job, my financial situation is quickly deteriorating. The board took 3 months to even contact me, and I will either end up with a letter of admonition or have to participate in the peer assistance program for a year to keep my license free of any kind of discipline. I was hoping to keep it clean so knowing the requirements of the program I have been trying to find a job that would match. Well it has now almost been 6 months I can't find a job and the nursing board has still not made a decision. Basically I am terrified and extremely upset with myself for getting myself into this situation. I did not think of the consequences to my career. I never smoked on a day I worked or went to work high. If I did it was on my weekend and it was short lived. Once I decided it was not worth it and I decided to never touch it again took the cleanse and I still failed. I can't seem to get a job, the nursing board is taking forever and I am ruining myself financially. I regret my choices everyday and I want nothing more than to work as a nurse again. Any advice or help is appreciated, or if you had a similar experience and made it through the other end; I would love to hear your story. Please do not reprimand me, I have done that enough, and I am trying to fix my mistake.