Holly2013

Hi everyone, I am not sure if this is the right forum to ask..but I need to vent. 2 years ago I was in an ADN program. I failed in my 2nd semester and was kicked out. Theory I was fine, but on the floor I was a mess. No matter how hard I tried or how much I prepared, I could never get a grasp on my time management and would just freak out..in a calm way. It was scary. I did not feel I had support I wanted when I was there and I asked...trust me..went to office hours..shadowed other students, etc. On the day they were dismissing me, my clinical instructor didn't even look at me in the face, she just signed the paper and left. I was so hurt. This also put a strain on my marriage at the time, because I would come home cry, be depressed, etc. But...I knew I needed to hold my head high and get through it. And I did, until I was dismissed. Anyway, I always had a backup plan, which was to transfer to a university. I did and yesterday I recieved my Bachelors of Science in Community Health Education, so public health really. I love this field, however still think about nursing school. My dilemma: I am afraid I can't handle it again. I am afraid because I know what is expected, I won't be able to get through it. I still have my nursing books collecting dust and it pains me to look at them. I am...slightly..resentful and jealous (should I say) of my friends who have finished RN school and are working, but I do not miss the LONG and late hours of studying, case studies, anxiety and depression. I think, can everyone BUT me pass nursing school?? Maybe its not in my cards. I am much happier now in general, but think...should I do more? Can I do more? Am I not living to my full potential? Or should I stick with public health, get my masters and work in non-clinical fields? Another thing, my anatomy has deffinitely expired, so if I did decide to go back, I would have to start all over. Has anyone gone through this? Do you move on or try again? I could use any and all advice. Thank you for listening. Holly