dgkrn

Hi all! I graduated with my BSN this past May and got a job on a med/surg floor in an area hospital. I have been working here for 4 months now, and while I liked my job when I first started, it has now become a "black hole" in my life as I could say. I don't know if I liked it because I was finally doing what I had spent so much time preparing for, or what .. But I just thoroughly do not enjoy coming to work anymore. I work 12 hour night shifts which I think is part of it. I don't mind working 12-hours, 3-4 days off is nice. But I think I truly only like working nights because of the pay diff. (It definitely makes a difference.) I am no longer orienting and am now "on my own" but I just feel like I never do anything right. I am constantly being corrected by my peers and have been burned by docs on several situations because the docs at night are very difficult to work with. I have such high anxiety and stress because I always think I am doing something wrong, or that I am going to miss something in my assessment. And then in morning report I feel like I am missing things as well ... I often wake myself out of sleep because I fear that I did something wrong. I am thinking now that a clinic setting or doctor's office may be more my speed. I would have day time hours and could have the night for myself. Now this is very difficult because with working nights I am exhausted all the time .. I sleep in between shifts and then on my off days I am asleep by 7:30. Never have time to see or spend time with my loved ones because I am always dragging. And I may be wrong but to my understanding the patients coming into the clinic/dr. office are not as acute (could code any second). I think a lot of my anxiety comes from not working a long time so I just do not have the experience or wisdom that comes from working as a nurse over time. At the hospital there are just so many protocols and things I am unfamiliar with. I do have a very good support system there and love my managers and co-workers, which is why I have a difficult time looking for something else. However, I don't know how much longer I can stick with the stress of working somewhere that I think I am always making a mistake. I apologize if this post seems very random or jumbled, I am attempting to vent and put my thoughts out but I don't know how well it is coming across. If anyone could give me any suggestions, helpful hints, insight as to working in a clinic setting, etc .. it would be very appreciated!!