aloneandforgotten

I'm pretty sure it was the dose that contributed to the pt's condition, but as of yet I have no proof. Double sign-offs? The only place I've seen double sign-offs is in the hospital, for insulin, blood, chemo, but not at all at the LTC. The place I was previously employed at has a reputation for high turnover, for years I've heard unfavorable stories from coworkers who had worked there previously. But I really needed a job and this place was the only facility willing to give me a chance to start my career, but of course it was on their terms. I would start out as per diem, work every weekend and any other days that they needed me for (which is not bad, I'm not complaining about that at all), but I would be a floater since only full time positions had a regular group. I was given 5 days of orientation (and absolutely no additional days, as they were not budgeted for that) which consisted of me following a floor nurse who hurriedly tried to familiarize me with the (new to me, and horribly buggy/slow) computer/charting system, give me some experience passing out meds, etc all while trying to make sure that she finished on time (which meant I did a lot of watching while she passed meds and did her job). Suffice it to say, as a brand new nurse and one that hadn't worked in this capacity in over a year (preceptorship), I felt quite overwhelmed. And thank you for your reply :)

Thank you all for your replies, they really help boost my morale. I realize that most nurses make med errors, but I feel mine was major. Although I haven't heard from the BON yet, I have been interviewed by an investigator and my story followed up by a lady at the Department of Health. So I'm thinking some kind of action will be taken against my license? Doesn't that sound likely for an individual in my case? And I still feel terrible for what happened, terrible that I could have such a lapse in judgement, makes me not want to be a nurse anymore, I don't want anybody's life in my hands. @1pinknurse thank you, volunteering isn't something that I thought of, I suppose I could just call up an organization and ask if they accept volunteers? @ agldragonRN well here goes. I was working day shift in LTC, my first job as an LPN. Busy day as I'm sure you know, it was going pretty well since I kind of knew some of the residents (I was a floater and usually had a different group each day/every couple days). This resident was one of my last for the noon pass, it was a new medication that had been ordered recently, liquid morphine. In my haste to finish and start charting I totally fudged up on the dose. Thinking back, I had a tiny inkling that something wasn't quite right but I continued doing what I was doing anyway. Gave the wrong dose (I really am ashamed to admit) and went back to my cart. Picked up the narcotic book to make sure everything had been signed and accounted for. Realized my mistake and informed the DON, then the hospice, then the family. Was fired as soon as my shift was over. I think the hardest part for me is the fact that the pt ended up expiring. I noticed the error about an hour and a half before my shift was over, was monitoring the patient nonstop and he was okay. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if it's just my state, but employers require that we fill out a complete work history, and have to sign at the bottom that it is complete and accurate to the best of our knowledge, blah blah blah. So I've been putting that yes, I did work there, but I would like the prospective employer not to contact them. One thing is, it is pretty difficult to find a job in my area without experience, especially a job outside of LTC, and without much experience. I really don't want a job in LTC, if I can help it, the ratio was horrible and I felt inadequate, especially being on day shift. Sorry if it sounds as if I'm making excuses. Thank you all for your stories, it means a lot that you are willing to share your errors with this internet stranger :)

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate them. @ 1pinknurse thank you for the suggestion, that thought has run across my mind. Unfortunately a refresher course is something that will have to wait until I get another job to afford it(most likely outside the nursing field). You know, I sort of "fell in" to nursing, which was the only field I'd given any thought these past years. I feel like it won't hurt to look into different fields, but at the same time I feel like such a loser/waste of space because this is what I went to school for and dedicated myself to these past few years. To start all over is.... Scary. Sorry for the rambling :*

Background: CNA for 5+ years, graduated August 2011, first LPN job started September 2012 in LTC, day shift. Fired before November due to med error which I cannot get over and bothers me so much to think about. Pt was on hospice and I later found out was transfered to hospital and expired. Investigation followed, went in for questioning one month ago. Now I'm thinking after being in this field for my entire adult career, I should probably just quit and find something else to do. I feel so inadequate, like I wasted my time, energy, and college credits with nursing school. So far, when I check my license online, it is clear. Does it take a long time for actions to happen against a licensure? I'm confused, depressed, and need a job. Where to go from here?