buzzthenurse

Hoping to get some advice or direction from some more experienced nurses. I worked for about 8 years to get my nursing degree going part time and full time to school. I accrued a lot of school loans and sacrificed a lot of time away from family and loved ones as everyone pursuing a nursing degree does. I graduated in May 2012 and finally found a job at a SNF working on their rehabilitation floor. I worked there for 4 months then landed a full time job on a Neuro Acute Care floor in a fantastic hospital. I have been there 2 months. They offered 6 weeks of orientation with neuroscience classes, ECG classes, ventilator classes, and preceptorship for the first 6 weeks. All of this sounded wonderful when I hired on. Now that I am on my own, I feel like I'm drowning. The nurse/patient ratio is 5:1 days and 6:1 nights, which would be ok except neuro patients seem like they are so much more time consuming than non neuro patients, and I can have shifts where all of my patients discharge and I get all new admits. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm new and not to be so hard on myself, but I am terrified that I am just not getting it and that I'm making stupid mistakes. I feel like a lot of the nurses I work with have to pick up my "slack". I work with some really good people who are very willing to help, but I wonder how long should I be relying on their help? I dread going to work and I am constantly feeling guilty about having to leave my 18 month old with someone other than me. My husband works full time and is in graduate school so I rarely see him as well. I guess I was just wanting to know how to change my attitude so that I do feel satisfied at work and like all of this time, money and sacrifice was for not for nothing.