mav7089

That is my main focus right now is to be able to know that when it comes down to it, when my pt is crashing, I will be able to intervene and do what I have to do to save their lives. My schedule was a little weird. They had me on days, then switched me to nights, switched me back to days, now I'm going back to nights. During my transition back to days, I didn't feel very comfortable with my preceptor. I felt like she was always judging me. She questioned if I think I can handle it in the ICU and if I can handle ICU patients. That made my confidence go way down. Then I completely messed up and I can see all over her face that I was stressing her out. It's hard for me to come to her and ask her questions, because I just have this uneasiness around her. I am going back to nights to my old preceptor and I hope that he will be able to guide me better. Although I am scared that it might not matter, and that I will still stagger at patient care. My educator said that I need to rebuild my confidence. I just don't know what to do. I want to stay in the ICU and stick it out, but I'm not sure it's for me.

I am a new nurse. I graduated in December 2011, couldn't find a job for 6 months, and just started my nursing career in June in the general ICU. I am struggling as a new nurse. It's been four months since I've started, but I'm still slow and very hesitant. I feel like I can do it, but I have a lot of doubts. I thought I would love ICU, but every time I think of going to work I get anxious and very nervous. Although I have learned a lot, I just feel like there is a difference between knowing what to do and actually applying it. I don't want to put any of my patients in danger because I am an incompetent nurse. I'm trying my best, it just doesn't seem to be good enough. My educator and manager for the ICU wants to keep me on orientation with preceptor for longer, saying that I'm still slow and they don't feel that I know how to differentiate between my priorities. I want to prove to myself that I can do it and that I will be a great nurse. I just hate the feeling of not being where I should be. The thought did occur to me if ICU is for me or not? But the thought that keeps bothering me is what if it's not ICU, maybe nursing just isn't for me. Please help me. I'm so confused and stressed out. I am very thankful that I have a job, but I want to love my job and right now I just don't.

I am a new nurse. I graduated in December 2011, couldn't find a job for 6 months, and just started my nursing career in June in the general ICU. I am struggling as a new nurse. It's been four months since I've started, but I'm still slow and very hesitant. I feel like I can do it, but I have a lot of doubts. I thought I would love ICU, but every time I think of going to work I get anxious and very nervous. Although I have learned a lot, I just feel like there is a difference between knowing what to do and actually applying it. I don't want to put any of my patients in danger because I am an incompetent nurse. I'm trying my best, it just doesn't seem to be good enough. My educator and manager for the ICU wants to keep me on orientation with preceptor for longer, saying that I'm still slow and they don't feel that I know how to differentiate between my priorities. I want to prove to myself that I can do it and that I will be a great nurse. I just hate the feeling of not being where I should be. The thought did occur to me if ICU is for me or not? But the thought that keeps bothering me is what if it's not ICU, maybe nursing just isn't for me. Please help me. I'm so confused and stressed out. I am very thankful that I have a job, but I want to love my job and right now I just don't.