sax82677

I'm straight out of school. The ink is barely dry on my nursing license. I'd worked on our Inpatient Onc floor for a year as a CNA while I finished my RN program, and I was hired straight in as a floor RN before graduation. Both my parents has been patients on that floor and had passed away there. I thought I knew everything that was coming. I thought being a RN would be an easy transition. Sweet Jesus on a cracker, was I wrong. Now, two and a half measly months after getting RN after my name, I'm struggling. Professionally? No problem. I've received many many compliments on my work ethic and quickness. Personally? I'm a freaking mess. I'm scared, I've had a hard time dealing with all the deaths lately, my relationship with my husband is starting to suffer. And it can all be summed up in one brief statement: "How do I walk out that door and be able to let go of all the stress, the pain, and the grief?" I'm realizing I'm not a machine. I feel. A lot, apparently. This is a reoccurring problem on our floor. We get attached, and then we have to go through the mourning process over and over and over. Where do I go from here?

I don't give a rat's rump if gay or straight. I DO care if you are strong enough to help me turn the 500lb patient q2h... :)