kja1085

I'm a new RN and have been working my first nursing job at night (12hrs) on a Med/Surg floor of a hospital in my area. I had 5 weeks of following an experienced RN and that was nice, I loved it! He had a way of making me feel smart and like I could do this! However, now I have been on my own for about 3 weeks, and the first few nights weren't so bad but then I had my most awful night. Short staffed, two new admits, 1 with blood transfusing, 1 hypertensive, 1 hyperglycemic, 1 screaming pain and anxiety constantly! I didn't have time to sit down, I felt like I was drowning. I asked for help but it just seemed it wasn't enough. I didn't eat or even have time to sit down. The day nurse finally came on and she made it worse, she told me, " oh you have to do this and that before you leave", and I thought okay, I'll try! I was suppose to be off by 0730 and when I looked at the time it was 0930 and I called the day charge nurse to come save me from the break down I was having. She told me the day nurse was wrong that I had did my part and that it's 24hr care and I can't do everything in 12hrs that helped a bit and I went home. Ever since that night I have not slept well, I wake up in panic attacks, even on my nights off. I'm scared I might not be cut out for this, all my time, and energy (not to mention the money) I put into my education to be a nurse. I still love nursing just scared of failing, I suppose! Any advise or stories to share would be appreciated, thanks!