Chasity2495

Thank you all for your encouraging words and advice. I have 3days off before my first re-orientation day. I try to stay busy with packing and preparing for our move next week. If I don't, then my mind wanders and I replay the error over and over. I cry, I feel completely overwhelmed with guilt. I know this is a learning milestone in my career, and it will get better and I will move on....but in this moment I feel awful. The questions of why I didn't do this or didn't do that constantly parade through my mind. I am nervous about going back into work.

I completely understand what you are saying and your concern. I am not sure where I would go for a slower pace at this time, so early in my career. I hope to go into the home health/hospice environment after 1-2 years. The other thing is my family and I are in the process of relocating to be closer to the hospital. I currently live over 1 hour away. On another note, we are moving to an EMR system in June. The entire hospital system will be moving into the Epic software. I feel like that will alleviate a lot of med mistakes...my mistakes in addition to other's. Thank you for your reply.

I am 5 months into nursing and have made multiple errors. When I say multiple, I mean 6 total; 3 while orienting and 3 while on my own. Last night was a biggie. I work on an very busy oncology unit in a teaching hospital with lots of interns rotating through with lots of orders issued and d/c'd daily. We still use paper MARs, much to my dismay. The first four of my errors were medications not given or not given on time. The meds forgotten were NOT chemo or anti-hypertensive meds or meds that would be life threatening not being given. I know, ANY forgotten med is a med error and I took full responsibility for each one, reported to the MD and filed the correct form for the errors. The 5th error is kind of a long story, but to make it short. I miss read dosing instructions on a PCA order and increased the continuous without an order. I am not trying to make excuses, but in my defense, I text paged the MD and let her know pain level, interventions and my intention of increasing the demand dose an "additional 0.3mg per order" and to let her know the spouse was at bedside and wanted to speak with her. She telephoned me to state she couldn't get to the bedside for a while. Never questioned my intention to increase the PCA dose. So at shift change, the mistake was found, I was educated, contacted the MD and was told that was NOT what she wanted, filed another med error report. This latest error has me spinning and really doubting my abilities as a nurse. Room A had a Narcan drip at 13.6ml/hr to decrease itching associated with the Fentanyl PCA. Room B had a Protonix drip at 25ml/hr for a GI bleed. I guess you know what is coming next....I inadvertently hung the Narcan drip in room 7 INSTEAD of the Protonix. So Narcan ran for nearly 6 hours at 25ml/hr. Now, I can replay everything in my head and know the steps I missed that allowed this mistake to happen.....not double checking the name/drug on the MAR to the fluid bag, not double checking the wrist band to the MAR, not making the verifying nurse actually walk into the patients room to verify the med hanging on the IV pole....6 rights of med administration blatantly not followed. The very foundation of nursing med administration! I know this!! So why did I not follow the steps and prevent this med error!!! No harm came to the patient that received the Narcan instead of his Protonix. Which is a relief to me. I am not sure I could mentally handle knowing I harmed a patient. I take complete responsibility for this! I feel very blessed that I still have a job! I love the unit I work on, I love the unit manager. After 3 months of being on my own, I am being place back with a preceptor and the unit educator for two weeks. I am so nervous! I know I am human, and I make mistakes, but this is one of those mistakes I will never forget! Not sure what I am looking for from this forum. I'm sure some of you will chew me up and spit me out regarding my mistake and a lack of judgement. I just feel so completely overwhelmed and rushed to keep up with all of the orders and medications. Nurses on my floor say it will get easier, but that light just seems so far away.

I live in NC. Good luck to both of you as well!

I so glad you posted this. Congratulations! I too graduated in May, took my NCLEX in June and passes 1st time. I was hired to an Oncology floor a few weeks ago. My orientation starts September 24. I am excited, but so nervous. I haven't done any hands on nursing since the end of April. I too would love to hear what the new and seasoned Oncology nurses have to say for the new graduates. I did 2 clinical rotation on oncology and a 16 week rotation on a surgical oncology floor. Funny how, I wasn't really looking for Oncology; I guess I could say Oncology found me :loveya:

It is so frustrating. I cried after I wasn't offered the position on my first interview. Then my second interview I had scheduled, I prayed that if it was where God wanted me to please remove the obstacles; if not then, then close that door. I was on my way to the interview when I received a call cancelling my interview due to the unit manager not having permission for another new graduate position....Door closed! I turned around and sat in my garage and cried...again. My husband had to remind me that my prayer was answered; I got what I asked for. I started filling out applications here and there with no expectations. God carried me through nursing school...He wasn't going to leave me hanging now. Keep your faith whichone'spink.....something will come along. It may involve leaving your comfort zone. As with me, I never considered Oncology; I wanted the ER/Trauma....and....we have to move for me to be closer rather than drive 1 1/2 hours one way.

I am a new nurse graduate and like many others without a nursing job, up to a week ago. I continued on working with the non-medical in home care company that I worked with all through nursing school. I think my biggest fear transitioning into floor nursing is losing my compassion and love for my patients that I have been able to give as a student and in home health. I give my patients all of me! I want to share my latest blessing. I just need to share this.....A great testimony to God's timing. I was getting so frustrated in not being able to find a nursing job since my graduation in May. I mean, most of my classmates had jobs, many even before graduating. I have been reminded in the past few weeks, even prior to being hired at Duke University Hospital, that everything is in God's timing; Not ours. Back in the middle of July, I began taking care of a client under hospice care. I became very close to my client and his spouse. I was with them, some weeks, every single day; when I wasn't with them, they were in my thoughts and prayers. As my client began to deteriorate, I grew closer to the spouse, creating a friendship and someone for her to lean on in this most difficult time. I truly believe that God places us in other people's paths for a reason. My client passed away this past weekend; I was on my way to the house when he passed. I arrived just moments after he took his final breath. I believe God sent me to that particular couple in the previous weeks, not only to use me in caring for and comforting this wonderful couple, but to show me a glimpse of the path He has chosen. They became a blessing to me as much as she says I was a blessing to them. Just two days prior to his passing, I was offered a nursing position in Oncology at Duke University Hospital . I don't know what plans God has for me, but I do know....had I been employed elsewhere, I wouldn't have been available to this couple and been able to give everything they needed at that very moment in time. I firmly believe God will eventually lead me to Hospice Nursing....which I think is absolutely perfect! Thank You God for YOUR timing and for my unanswered prayers!!

I am a new grad nurse, currently unemployed, but our starting pay in central North Carolina is $20.10 with differential for nights and weekends. I'm thinking that doesnt really sound that great anymore. :/