runner080

Hi, I'm new to this forum and this is my first post. I am thinking about getting CNA1 certification, working at LTC part time or full time and volunteering with hospice. I would like to tell you a bit about myself and motivations and hopefully receive some critical feedback. I have always struggled with meaning in my life. I don't believe in god, I don't value my self worth by the size of my bank account and I don't see any real happiness in hedonism either because of hedonic adaptation. I did get lost with intellectual pursuits but part way through a PhD I realized that it was just a loveless fascination, a wonderful little game that had meaning in an abstract sense but not directly. What I have finally come to realize is that what really has meaning to me is the well being of others. It seems to be an intrinsic thing, requiring no thought or intellectual justification, if some one is hurt I want to help them. Because I already have a background in science, working in the medical field seems like the perfect place for me. Before I jump in and become an MD or RN or get a technologist certification, I'd like to get some experience and really see what its like. The quickest and least expensive route it seems to be a CNA, a year in a LTCF and then get experience in a hospital after CNA2. Something else I've realized is that humans are social creatures, that despite all my attempts at being a rugged individual, I really do depend on others and their support is something I need almost as much as food and water. The happiest times in my life, and the times where I've had the greatest motivation were when I was part of a team, part of something greater than myself. So not only do I want to help others, I want to be part of a team helping others in a supportive environment. Reading some of the posts on this website and others, it seems there are a lot of miserable people working in the medical field. This immediately puts a check on my idealism - something seems wrong and I don't understand what it is. How could a job helping people make people miserable? Why are there so many posts that talk about people back stabbing one another? Is this just over represented on the internet? Why do I hear so many stories about doctors being jerks? Basically I would like to know more about the darkside of nursing, especially LTC, and would like to know if you think its reasonable to expect to find a great supportive team to work with and if you think compassion is enough to motivate someone to do the hard work and cope with the stress of the field.