justbecamearn

Hi. Im a new nurse but I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I havent been sleeping or eating well and Ive been crying myself to sleep for days now, but it's still not enough to drive the guilt away. My patient died days ago under my care. On hindsight, I think I had a lot of responsibility over his death. I dont know what to do. My colleagues arent being honest with their opinions, I havent spoken to our nurse manager yet but I just want some honesty. And this guilt, I dont know how to deal with it. :CC Help. I want to resign and just quit this profession altogether. :CC

I just became a rn. we didnt have iv insertion class at school but i had successfully extracted blood under the supervision of my c.i before but that was it-- my only experience relevant to iv insertion. currently i am in the middle of my iv therapy training, ive passed the lecture with good marks and (quite surprisingly) passed my practicum, and i think that is just because there was an iv therapy expert assisting me with the procedure. my problem now is i STILL HAVE NOT inserted an iv catheter properly and im starting to feel really bad about the harm that i have brought to the patients with my inexperience and incapability in inserting ivs. i come prepared at the bedside and my hands dont even shake but after locating the vein, and inserting at a 20-30 degree angle (with i believe the right pressure, not too superficially) then laying the cath almost parallel to the skin, and pushing about 1 mm, i dont get blood visualization and in 2 of that 4 failed insertions, have produced infiltration. in all that 4 insertions, i had a supervising nurse at my side, and ive asked feedback from them ranging from wrong choice of vein (on 2 occasions) or too much pressure. i really am listening and opening my mind to their suggestions but i still cant do the insertions right. im currently looking at videos and rereading the procedure but i dont really know what to do anymore. i dont want another patient sporting a swollen hand. has anyone experienced this like i have? what did you do to improve? although some of my patients were dehydrated, the supervising nurse was still able to immediately insert the ivs easily so it ist the question of the condition of the patients rather my skill. :C