saa2827

Hi all, I know hows some of you feel. I have been in school for the last 4 years, 12 semesters strait. This past fall I started my first set of BSN clinicals. I nearly lost my mother due to multiple complications post CABG x4 (Quadruple heart bypass). I am 33 and already a non traditional college student, was diagnosed with ADD and Panic disorder in June of 2010. I also was having trouble understanding the questions on the tests. I could take an Nclex practice exam and do extremely well with out any higher level nursing skills but I couldn't pass their tests. I was told I over analyzed the questions but in the same breath she tells me I do not possess critical thinking skills. That being said, I asked my instructors what to do, should I drop? Their response was ," no don't you dare drop we will help you!" Yeah well that didn't happen. I ended up failing 2 classes with F's and one with a high D. Out of 46 college classes I only made 3 C's and now these F's and D. Well i was told to appeal and in my appeal explain everything.... Surly they new what was going on because 2 of my instructors are on the appeals board. I was denied and basically told I was just a number. the way I felt was, "Oh we are going to take the $50,00.00 you spent on coming to school, but you failed.. pick something else to do with your life cause your not good enough to be a nurse! During my clinicals, I felt like I was teaching my fellow students. Many of them would complain about changing a pt.s bed or cleaning a pt after a bowel movement and so on. But I looked at it as my duty. I was fortunate to do my clinicals at an extended stay hospital were I was able to learn many many things other nursing student did not. My Clinical instructor, a graduate of Colombia University with a MSN, pulled me aside when she found out I failed and asked me a question. She said, " Did you not realize throughout the semester that I gave you the most complicated and difficult patients?" I said no Ma'am I did not know that.. She said, "The reason I did was because I knew you could handle it and you did with no help from anyone nor did I hear you once complain. I have never had a student in my 15 years as an instructor, that I trusted more and believed in as much as I do you!" I was dumbfounded. She continued to tell me that regardless of what happened and what the other instructor told me, that I better not give up on being a nurse because that is who i am suppose to be. I have wanted nothing more that to be a Nurse. I resigned as a sheriff deputy to pursue my dream of being a nurse, but with all that said, every university in the state of Louisiana that I know of will not take nursing students into a BSN program if the failed more than one course. I have contacted and visited two school who turned me down 5 min after walking in. I was told well why don't you go to med school and be a Physician's Assistant. Well 1) due to the F's and D my GPA has dropped from a 3.42 to a 2.811. 2) I am a care giver, Dr.'s are great and most are good at what they do but it is the Nurses that take care of the pt not the Dr. so that is not what I want to do. I was recently told about the LPN to ASN (RN) program. to which I could transfer to a BSN program after that and with the credits I have now many would transfer. But I am worried that if I do that, will they take me into a BSN program later considering they wont accept me now. I am sorry I vented. I want nothing more than to be a nurse. I feel so cheated and discouraged and even though I know differently, the voice from that one instructor telling me that I am not smart enough to be a nurse still lingers in my thoughts. I think its sad that we are taught that we have to have empathy and compassion for others but yet the same ones teaching it do not practice what they preach. So I am going to call the schools that have the LPN to RN programs and RN to BSN programs and see what they say on Monday. Wish me luck and thank you for allowing me to vent. I wish much luck to anyone who has been through what I have because it can truly shake one's spirit. Thanks Scott~