MakeAWish

Hi I am a new grad RN. This is my first job. I have been trying very hard to do well. I had been on the floor about 5 weeks when my preceptor and I had to meet with the nursing supervisor to discuss my progress. All the preceptor could say about me was that I needed to loosen up and not be nervous (no positive feedback). I tried to defend myself by saying that I was nervous because I am doing new things and am new to everything here. I explained that the nervousness would decrease as I gained more experience and confidence. Now I am angry that I even had to explain this. It seems to me that any idiot would realize that you are nervous in a new situation like this! Also, SHE makes me nervous because she has been telling me since the second week that I need to hurry up, hurry up, I am not doing things fast enough. I think anyone would be nervous with a preceptor hovering over you, telling you that! I guess I let this B _ _ _ _ walk all over me because I didn't stand up for myself and say "I am learning. I need time to learn. Please don't tell me to hurry up." Here is what I think: She is overworked, very impatient, and is expecting way too much from me as a new grad. She has never precepted a new grad before. I am slowing her down, and she resents it. I really hate going to work now because I absolutely hate working with her. I would like to know your thoughts on this. I'm sure it is probably very common, and as a "lowly nurse" I am supposed to just suck it all up, which I will. It just irks me because I don't think I would ever treat someone like this. I think there are a few good, quality people who respect others, but then there are very many people like this preceptor who are just total jerks. I appreciate your feedback, could definitely use some encouragement. Thanks.