AmeliaOhLPN

I have this crazy notion that what I want to do with my life is to find those that are at the lowest point in their life and show them some kindness, give them hope, or just be a smile to brighten up their day. Working in the medical field I was able to find a glimpse of this, but all it has done is make me want to cry. It is like briefly getting to see for the first time a few rays of sunshine to show you how dark the world really is. I was a nurse aid for five years before I decided to go back to school and become a LPN. I love tending to the patients, being there for them, and doing my best to serve their needs. I could to this for the rest of my life and never tire of it. But, I can't get over the politics of it all. I will admit that most of my experience is from the nursing home side, but from what I have seen of hospitals they are not much different. It seems to me that no matter what a nurse's intent was in becoming a caregiver the poor patients find themselves feeling more like a statistic then actually cared for. I mostly blame politics and greed for this. I can't seem to justify charging a patient, that has worked hard all their life, their entire life savings (car, house, pet, freedom, modesty, ect). For such a price they most likely receive a half a room they must share with a total stranger they don't get to choose, wake up calls every 2 hours at night but don't expect to get a Tylenol within an hour of when they decide to ask, and a nurse that is so overwhelmed that she doesn't have time to sit down and listen to issues that come up. She may actually find time to tend to the problem but that doesn't mean she will remember to report it to the oncoming nurse so nothing ever gets carried out. The doctor that is in charge of you may come in, but never comes in to see you he just looks over the nurse's reports and leaves. With as much as these residents are paying you would think that they could afford if not a full time nurse of their very own (which I think they would be entitled to for as much as they are paying) at least one that they can split with 2 other people not 8 to 20 other people. Just like everywhere else healthcare is understaffed, but it isn't inventory, food, or schedules that suffer from this it is people. Oh, by the way what does the nurse do at least 80% of the time? Is it tend to needs of the 20 patients in her charge? No, it is CYA. The United States is so law suit crazy that everything must be documented. This leads to nurses documenting things that were never really done or checked, and safety/sanitary procedures that are done quickly and sloppily if at all. I have really tried to be a nurse but, I guess I am too honest, and caring. My heart goes out to these patients and I want to be there and help them out but in every job I have taken, if I want to keep the job I have to keep up with the pace of the demand and keep up with all my paper work. The only way I can do that is to do something outside of my character like filling out paper work saying I have done things I never really did, shoving pills down patients throats that I never really double checked to make sure they were the right ones, or being short with a patient that wants me to listen because I have 10 more patients that I haven't seen and a deadline coming up in 5 minutes. As stubborn as I am I decided not to change who I am and do everything as well as I could in the time I was given which of course was never enough and I was let go. The third job I took the stress finally got to me and I didn't give them the chance to let me go after a very stressful day I felt like in the state I was in I may have done more harm then good (not that anyone got hurt) and I left. One of the hardest things I have ever done because I am not a quitter and it broke my heart because I felt like I was abandoning the patients that need me. Perhaps there is a place out there for a nurse like me but so far I haven't found it. With jobs being scarce as they are it hasn't been easy. I so want to quit, I hate looking for a job. But I can't, originally I just wanted to make a difference and I will not be happy till I do. But where do I begin?