goldieRN

I'm in a med/surg floor 5-6 pts typically in their 80's. Granted it's night time, but nearly everyone is confused/fall risk and just ahh. 3 months into working off orientation/5 months total and i still feel so incompetent. I feel like dayshift nurses hate me and just talk about me and how much I didn't do or missed. I'm not a social butterfly. I can't make them laugh during report or ease the tension. I just give them what I know and do the best that I can. But now I'm re-evaluating how I give report because I feel like I hardly know anything about my patients when dayshift starts asking me numerous questions. Ughh and the doctors.. Even though I try my best to find out what I can during the night by morning I still feel like I know nothing. I want to talk to my patients more, but where do you find the time really? Right now 2 and 2 just don't go together yet. Will this get better? I'm nearing my 6 month mark and I thought I had it a couple of weeks ago. I was getting slightly more comfortable. But then lately it's been so busy that I miss some things or don't get to complete my tasks. Is it because it's winter? I feel so useless sometimes. I feel like I'm only sustaining them until the morning. I dread work. I cry and can't sleep in the morning because I know I have to go in. And I feel like no one understands. My family tells me that no job is easy. Yeah, sure but I just want to do something I love to do. And I thought this was it. I feel for my patient's. I answer their call lights, but when it's only to get them to and from the commode my mind starts racing about how much stuff I need to get done! Especially when they call all at once ahhh! And then you have the patients that think you're their private nurse and you have no other patients but them.... I really really don't want to go to work. I'm blessed to have this job I know, but I wish I loved it too. Not only that, but I feel like I have no one to relate to on my floor.......