cooki10554

Again - to defend myself - this is not intended to be petty childish sophomoric behavior. I did it - and I am reading the threads. No, it's not stalking - I only want my friend to forgive me for a really stupid decision that I made. I don't understand the stalking thing - like I said - I'm a nurse - I read the posts - same as you do, and I don't intend for that to sound like I'm being smart alecked. It's a fact. We're nurses and we're gonna read the boards. There was never any "stalking." I just happen to be up late because it's gonna be one of those insomnia nights. Sighhhh...I should never have posted I guess. Not a real good way to start out. Oh well, I tried. Cookie

Well, I am here to defend myself. I am not the "evil" person or someone with "zero class" as I was made to sound. First of all, I was not even a member of this forum until just about five minutes ago. I did, however, read a lot of the posts on here because, let's face it - I'm a nurse. Yes, I did put two and two together and figure out who Nursie 30 was. My intent was never to hurt her...EVER!! She should know me well enough to know that...obviously not. Yes, I did copy the letter, but the reason I did was because I have worried about Nursie since the day she quit her job. Yes, I did show the letter to the boss because the boss has also worried about Nursie. Yes, she was venting, and in retrospect, I do see her point - we DO say things when we are upset that we probably would not otherwise say. People at work did not laugh about it. People were still concerned about Nursie (and still are). Everyone there loved Nursie and respected her. (Still do.) Did I print out the post below that Nursie wrote? Yes I did - so I can show it to only one person - the person that I am pretty confident told Nursie that the printed "vent" was passed around to co-workers. Obviously it was told to Nursie that I set out to hurt her. That just wasn't the case. There were maybe four people total that even saw what had been printed out - ALL OF THEM VERY CONCERNED FOR HER! Nursie was amazing at her job. She was just awesome - a VERY hard act for me to follow. Nursie, I'm sure you probably hate me at this point, and that makes me so sad. But if it's any consolation, it's not a real treat to always hear, "Well, "Nursie" did it this way or that way." I'm not you, Nursie, nor will I ever be as proficient at this job as you were, but I just keep trying. I'm so sorry you felt you had to leave your job. You are truely missed. I just hope you believe me when I say I NEVER meant to hurt you, even though I did hurt you by copying that darned post. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have done it. And I do hope you can forgive me for it. I know things have been rough for you, and I keep you and your family in my prayers. Maybe it will make you feel a little better to know that my life is not exactly a bowl of cherries right now. We, too, are living on only one income since my husband is trying to get disability SS on his Crohn's disease. We've recently lost our insurance benefits which were through the Division of Family Services. I make too much money. Yeah right. We live paycheck to paycheck. I have about $100 left out of each check to run me for two weeks. I'm now trying to figure out how we are going to pay for $685 worth of medication each month and $2000 every eight weeks to pay for my husband's Remicade that keeps him halfway in remission from the Crohn's. Oh, and do you wanna know this weeks saga? I've found out my daughter is a "cutter". Hmmm...wonder how I'm gonna pay for all that counceling. Like I said, Nursie, perhaps it will make you see that my life is in as much turmoil as yours is right now. Ok...it's midnight - I'm tired. All I can do is say, "I'm sorry." Hell, maybe I deserve all that turmoil - who knows? Cookie