jackster

Thank you so very much to those of you who took the time to respond. When I read my posting, I do not even recognize myself. As a former career professional who was completely on top of my game daily, I am struggling to recognize myself at this point. Eyeball, I really appreciate hearing from you. Perhaps those of us who are mid-life career changers mistakenly believe that our skills and former levels of competence and self assurance will translate into nursing. While I love interacting with my patients and I love caring for them and their families, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what in the world is wrong with me. I do appreciate all of your words of encouragement. It does really help to know that others out there listen and care.

I am a new nurse, working on a very busy med/surg floor in acute care, but I did my "immersion" experience my last semester of BSN program in hospice. I knew from that experience that I loved the opportunity to build relationships with hospice patients and families. I, unfortunately, followed the institutional advice about getting acute care experience and am now finding that my original instincts were correct. I asked my hospice preceptor about working in hospice as a new grad and she replied that skills can be taught, but a nurse either has a "hospice heart" or not. I definitely have the heart and am so sorry that I am unable to use those skills much in acute care. As others have said, see if you can find an opportunity to observe and above all, trust your instincts. If you feel that you are well suited or not well suited to an area, you are probably right. Good luck to you!

I am a first-time poster and not sure if this is the best place for my pitiful plea for encouragement, but here it goes.....I am about 6 months into my first nursing job. I am middle aged, a career changer, graduated with honors, love patient care and was very fortunate to receive a tuition scholarship from a large health care system where I live. I was so happy to think that I would have a job waiting for me and that I did not have to battle for externships. I also realized about half way through school that I was not drawn to acute care hospital nursing, but instead, really liked the psycho-social aspects of mental health, community nursing, hospice, etc. Problem is that I've now potentially sold my soul in exchange for paid tuition. I am working nights (a whole reason to be depressed all by itself) on a very busy acute care floor and find that the stress is having a huge impact on my mental and physical health. Can't sleep, vomiting and crying before going to work, etc. I am so miserable. Love the patients, like my team, hate the job. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed to admit this to any of my nursing school friends or, heaven forbid, talk to anyone in my department. I can't risk being labeled a short-termer and have my request for days ignored. I have asked for a move to days thinking that at least getting on a "normal" routine would lessen the misery, but I know that has its own set of crazy circumstances. Venting my feelings at work seems like a big mistake since I am married to this company until I fulfill my employment commitment (or repay the money - ha!). Thinking about trying to transfer after my one year anniversary, but seriously questioning whether or not I can hang on for that long. I had a very successful first career and am just so baffled as to why this job is sending me so far over the edge. I just didn't expect this kind of extreme mental and physical reaction. I've been through a lot of other stressful things in my life, but this takes the award. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.