pink_monster

I've been a nurse for nearly 2 years. I was initially on the floor and grew to hate it because staffing was poor and I always felt like I was giving substandard care. I always found surgery very interesting so a few months ago I left my unit and went to the OR. I admit, I was one of "those" people who thought nursing in surgery would be easier since I'm only dealing with one patient. I understand now that I was very, very wrong. But that's not the issue and please understand I mean no disrespect to any OR nurses. What I don't understand is why circulators have to be RNs. I don't feel like a nurse at all and it bothers me. Having been on the floor, I'm used to running myself ragged, but now it seems like I'm catering to surgeons instead of my patients. Even the CRNAs can be nasty and demanding, like they enjoy having a game of "I say 'jump', you say 'how high?'". I don't feel like the fact that I AM a nurse is respected. For example, in my OR getting patients to the room on time is a big deal. All I need to do is make sure they get to the room on time. I've had surgeons get mad at me because I'm "too slow" at getting patients in the room when all I want to do is thoroughly interview them. It doesn't happen all the time, I mean I'm not always late. But don't I have a right, not to mention an obligation as a nurse, to know my patient's allergies and health history too? I'm not saying I'm giving up or anything. I just think maybe I should take a PRN job on a floor. Then, whenever I'm feeling like this I can remind myself of why I left in the first place. Anyone else have similar experiences and some advice maybe?

I graduated last May and took a job as a floor nurse on a step down icu unit. I'm a nervous worry/obsessive person by nature and I lack self-confidence. I know these are probably normal feelings for new nurses but it's getting to the point where I can't handle it. Our unit is frequently understaffed so in addition to all the negative feelings I have huge patient loads. I'm constantly worried I'll make mistakes because I'm so busy I don't even know what I'm doing half the time. I walk around the hallways every night in a cold sweat like I've got a ticking time bomb strapped to my chest. Whenever I know I'll be working the next day I have terrible nightmares. I want to learn but I can't realistically process anything. I just hate not being able to be the kind of nurse I wanted to be. I guess that's the shock of the "real world". I can't spend much time with my patients and I feel like I'm not giving them good care. I feel like I'm so far away from the person I was in nursing school. I feel I've forgotten so much. Besides working on the unit we are given absolute loads of computer assignments that I can't keep up with. I know that with time I'll get more experience and confidence, but I'm having major doubts. Nursing isn't the problem though; I love being a nurse. I'm starting to feel like maybe floor nursing just isn't for me. I think for as hard as I worked to become a nurse I should be doing something I love, not fear and dread. A friend who knew about my nerves once suggested that I would be good in the OR and I did enjoy my experiences there while in school so maybe I'll try that. Any thoughts/suggestions??