I totally know how you feel. I have frequently been to the point of tears out of pure frustration. I have been nursing for only 4 years, my first year i worked nights on a med/surg floor with 12 patients a piece, many of whom were extremely intense patients. I used to cry having to go to work out of fear of the unknown, it was so stressful being responsible for that many pts. I left and took a night position in a post partum unit with mothers and babies. The particular hospital is the busiest in the state if not the country i think in regards to deliveries. I kind of became used to the "business" but recently it has gotten to a point that i feel is so unsafe. We have generally 12 pp patients but many are not your run of the mill "well" moms, they are very sick antepartums, we very frequently have pp hemorrhages, complications from csections, ruptured uteruses from failed VBACs, diabetics, preterm labor, magnesium infusions, etc. and in general they can be very needy due to the hospital being a high risk center. At times, we are so much to capacity that we fill our 70 beds and our 10 bed overflow area. Even with that, we still have people in delivery rooms with 3 stretchers in each, and the line for triage is out the door. At the same time, when in the nursery one nurse can be responsible for up to 15 of her own babies and if the other nurse is on a break there can be 30 or more in one sectionn that we then have to take care of, admit, assist in circumcisions, administer vaccines to, and even answer to the whims of the moms who bring the baby in because the diaper is dirty and they don't want to do it. It is really so frustrating and I do also feel for the management because they have to deal with having beds available for the constant influx of deliveries. They will often ask us to discharge moms by the morning so we can get the bed clean and before it is even dry, another mother is being rolled up into it, someone who may have delivered the day before and will be going home the next day. I really love maternal child health and i definately want to stay in this area, but I get such anxiety being at work and feel like I cannot dedicate my time adequately to my patients. I feel that we are not really doing what we intended to do as RN's, that being said, we all try our best and work our butts off but then we might get called in by a manager or someone to point out a flowsheet or something that wasnt documented. Id like to see them being pulled in every direction and see if they dont miss a darn flow sheet or a prenatal vitamin once in a while. Ive expressed to my husband and family that I really just want to throw in the towel and try something new because I am feeling very unfulfilled and although the $ is good, i think we are worth more than being gophers, we have worked so hard to be nurses and should be giving the kind of care our patients deserve, not just churning out patients for the hospitals to make $. My husband would hate for me to give up the job and the $ because lets be honest, in this economy we are lucky to even have a job, but the toll it is taking on us is not worth it to me and a lot of my coworkers feel the same. I just dont know if i have the balls to do it and walk away. But, i think we deserve better than having a job where u get anxiety and dread going to each day. I know this is long, and please forgive me, but I really needed to vent because i know a lot of you understand where i am coming from....love you all! So what do u think? LoL