sherylc

I'm new to Hospice, but have had 30 years of Nursing experience. In those 30 years I have shed a tear or 2 with patients or family members. I don't feel uncomfortable at all when I occasionally tear up, especially now that I'm a Hospice Nurse. Emotions are human, and by showing that you feel along with them, even to a small degree, you can connect with both the patient and those left behind. The first death I attended occurred on the 1 year anniversary of my mother's death. I admitted the lady at noon, spent 4 hours with her and her large family, controlled her symptoms so she could spend time with everyone from her husband of 70 years to her 1 year old great grandson, and watched the tone of the gathering change from tense and fearful to almost joyful. I went home, and 4 hours later was called back to pronounce her. Was there sadness? Of course. Did I shed a tear as the family members hugged me and told me that the best decision they made was to have Hospice and that they were so glad that I had helped to make her passing easier? Of course. Did I lose it and start sobbing and wailing? Of course not. This was about them, not me and the emotional impact I was hit with. But, halfway home, I had to pull over to the side of the road and grieve for my mother all over again. I guess what I'm trying to say is that tears are fine, and don't mean that you are weak or "unprofessional". What you do have to remember is that you may sometimes have to compartmentalize your feelings so you remain in control. That's why it's important that Hospice organizations have grief sessions for their employees, with lots of Kleenex available!