bionicwoman

No one could focus if they are beating their head against a brick wall.........so stop doing that and :heartbeat yourself and for joy that you have what it takes to not give up and continue to pursue your dreams. Do not let anxiety and that head banging define you in the least. You are an awesome amazing person with a few setbacks that won't amount to much at all down the road a bit. Eat right, drink a lot of water, exercise now and again if you want to punish yourself lol..... Make a list of all you are grateful for. Things most assuredly could always be worse. Good luck to you!

You did mention panic attacks -- which boils down to huge, huge anxiety. She worries endlessly, the cause could be emotional and biochemical both and who knows what else. Perhaps if it wasn't this issue.......then it would be another issue. And so on and so on. So while some are open to help through docs like a psychiatrist and medication others are not. I'm not a huge fan of meds for psychological issues....yet there is good use of them now and again with an ethical doc. With the no-med route.......I found an excellent course for my CEU's through a company educator that dealt with anxiety in a very, very compassionate and easy to understand manner -- a doc from Duke wrote the course. It was wonderful and came with the book etc. Just KNOWING you have a normal thing like anxiety -- albeit perhaps fulminating or out of control -- brings relief in that it's so so treatable....this doc even goes into non-medication ways to help even though he's a shrink. The other thing that comes to mind is a book or two on living in the present moment -- such as a book by John Kabat-Zinn......Full Catastophe Living or maybe better yet 'Wherever you go you are there' I think it's called. It teaches the reader simple techniques for understanding a healthier way to live life and enjoy life right in the immediate 'now'.... he refers to it as meditation -- but actually not how you might envision traditional 'meditation'. Simply a way to be a detached observer that is unjudgemental viewing yourself and all that's around you......It is filled with so much wisdom.......and not cultish or wacky in the least. So while the others mentioned counseling again and again.......this is just adding another bit of 'self-help' that you could maybe enjoy together. Because truly the past is just that -- the past. You have only so many days in which you will be living.....I'd love for her and you and the baby to have happy days......days filled with joy and happy surprises........days of not being critical and harsh of yourselves, the past, or present or future.....but rather living...simply living! So as our negative thoughts can hinder healing and a sense of peace....maybe some exercises in 'neutral' thoughts and simply understanding things by the teachings in jon kabat zinn's book.......could be helpful! A best seller going on ten years now I believe. Okay that's all. While it seems like this is hugely destructive etc (the perceived jealousy etc.).........you, she, the kiddo are not victims....you can work this out toward positive growth and happy living......no matter the externals......or situations that come up.