michelew/oneL

no, i didnt get suspended YET , it was mentioned as a possibility. i work at a sx center. there is only one shift. the only person that has used those meds are me...thats why i get lazy and figure...yea, it was right last night....i know it still is....ha. thats where i went wrong. i wish i never told them i didnt count. i was hoping for more support from my DON. he never checked charts. never did any of the things i read on this site. makes me mad. did i mention the combos are written on inside of cabnits that narcs are stored. come onnnn cant stop thinking of it. my husband is getting mad b/c i cant let it go. damn men! (sorry male nurses....had to rant) thanks for lawyer site. i might check it out. if they call the board....i will fight for it. i just cant imagine what DEA does with this? my DON said "guess we will wait and see huh?" nice!

looks like i might be suspended, i get to dwell on it all weekend. they reported to DEA and now i have no idea about board of nursing....will they find out? great! do i get a lawyer?

well my boss is going to make me write a narrative today about what happened. i suppose this is where i hang myself. o, i know there is nothing positive about this one. except when they do the root cause ananylsis. i am sure big changes will be made and everyone will be on guard. i worked with a nurse once who wasnt alloud to open the narc box b/c he went to some program with nursing board b/c of his drug abuse. am i going to be that guy? IF i still have a job. i suppose arelle is right, i should have people help me look for it. i been keeping it quiet b/c i didnt want people to think i was so bad... when i first started there i remember thinking how sloppy the narc book was. remember thinking "wow. no co-signature for wastes?" and now....4 years later...i have become part of the problem....ughh!

ok, i am ashamed of myself. i feel awful and scared. i work at a surgical center that is growing. new people left and right. we used to be very small. our narc counts are sloppy. i mostly push fenanyl and versed all day. the amounts we give are crazy sometimes. we will count alone, then later get someone to sign...well, today....i forgot to count in the AM and at the end of my shift there was 7 missing fentanyl and 3 versed. of course fentanyl is the only one regulated by DEA but 7 vials? this is alot of meds. i am in huge trouble. i should just hand over my license? we all leave the room with meds out. sometimes drawn up already. (not guilty of that one though) and we all co- sign later....the DON doesnt even know what we need to do yet. i am sure the DEA will need to be notified. i offered to pee on the spot. i feel like the worse nurse ever. but the question is....who the hell took it? theres no way i could have screwed up 7 times in one day. will i really lose my license if its not found? will i get fired on the spot? i just got another raise for Gods sake. never been written up. i just feel like i am losing it. so ashamed at how sloppy we have been. now i am feeling so stinking stupid and worried. :uhoh21: