Hello, Just a short story. I am a recovering RN. I practiced emergency/trauma nursing for 10 years and then became addicted to opiates. I was in treatment in 2003 and completed that successfully and then relapsed about a 1 1/2 after treatment. At that time my life was obviously a mess. I called the board and stepped out of nursing into a totally different field as I felt I needed distance from narcotics and realized that my life and family were much more important that my career. They left my license as suspended for all those years. I became very successful at the sales position that I had but with the economic downturn it got hard to make a living in early 2009. I was already contemplating going back to the board as I had 4 years of sobriety and wanted to do again what I feel God wants me to do. So, I made the request for restitution of license. I met with the board and they restored my license at the end of March. Here's the kicker. In Illinois, if you are out of nursing for over 5 years without an active license you have to retake boards. Well, I took them yesterday and did not feel like I did very well at all. I tried to prepare as best as I knew how but feel it may not have been good enough. I know I am jumping the gun when I do not actually know if I passed or not and realize it could just be the anxiety of not knowing. The questions shut off at 76 and I did not feel as if I was doing very well when it quit. I know this is what I was meant to do but am struggling with feeling that I am being punished for some reason (if I didn't pass). I know I can take it again. I am also feeling a bit of entitlement since I have been sober for a little over 5 years. I know that is not appropriate to feel. I am trying to turn it over to God and realize that if I didn't pass I can take it again in 90 days and realize that there must be another lesson to learn. Whether that is to study harder, prepare differently or just to realize that I need to trust in God more and be the person he knows I can be. Thanks for listening and any support is appreciated.