mamaRNof3

I am sincerely hoping that someone out there can help me. I am facing a situation that has gotten completely out of control. I have been suspended with pay for a situation in which my NM and LCN were supposedly notified that I had a bad attitude at work. By bad attitude, specifically, yelling, shouting, stomping my foot, crying, throwing things in my breakroom, and slamming my locker. None of which happened. My NM and LCN tell me that it was multiple people who stated this, however, there would have been no way for someone to be able to "witness" all of this. This comes on the heels of a situation that I, myself, called my LCN where I had "words" with another employee. At no time was anyone threatened, or were any patient's in any harm or in harms way. We weren't even in each others faces, having an entire nurses station between us. I was reprimanded for this and mandated to go to our Employee Assistance Program counselor, which I did. (Note: the person I had words with is NOT the person/ people that are falsely accusing me now. I know this.) This "new" situation was brought to my attention 5 days after it supposedly happened. I have had to "jump through hoops" now, and fear that my nursing license is next, even though it has not been turned into my BON as of yet. What my NM and LCN and the HR employee relations representative have done: 1st-I had to meet with them regarding the incident, I was told that since "multiple" people stated the same thing they were not going to debate the situation with me. 2nd- I was forced to have a drug/alcohol test which, of course was negative. 3rd-placed on suspension with pay pending seeing the EAP counselor. 4th- they hid behind the EAP counselor, telling me that I could go back to work after I met with him, then when I see him he tells me that my NM and LCN want a psychiatric evaluation on me, prior to going back to work. (They also pretended to not know that he was going to say this). 5th- I had to go see said psychiatrist that, again supposedly, is the ONLY one in a LARGE metropolitan area that will do employee psychiatric evaluations (really?!). Psychiatrist talks over me, spends 30 minutes messing with computer, then tells me repeatedly that he does not know anything besides what I have told him. Then tells me that he does NOT think that I need medicine, that I do NOT need to see him again, but that I SHOULD continue to see the EAP counselor. I knew that the psychaitrist and the EAP counselor were going to talk, they had told me it would be while I was there in the office, but the EAP guy didn't answer his phone so a message had to be left and, ofcourse- you guessed it, they spoke AFTER I left. 6th- Counselor calls and tells me that the he and psychiatrist agree that I should be started immediately on Effexor, to be off work for another 2 weeks, to do intensive therapy with EAP, and that I need to follow up with the psychiatrist or atleast A psychiatrist. When I told EAP that I would be going to a different psychiatrist, he then tells me that really I have to stay with the one that my employer sent me to, because he is the only one who can release me to work. Even if I did the things that I am being accused of, this seems really extreme. I did NOT do these things, and stupid me did not file a grievance in the allotted time frame (They did not tell me about the psychiatric thing until AFTER the allotted time for filing a grievance was over). I do have a job interview some where else, but my biggest fear now is that if I leave this company and do not comply with their "mandates" that some how they will turn in my license for a complaint and that will in turn prohibit me from getting another job. I am so lost, I feel so humiliated, betrayed, frustrated, angry, sad, everything under the sun. I can't sleep, I have lost my appetite. I LOVED my job, I LOVE my patient's! My employer gets regular feed back about how much my patients like me! Now I am facing this situation where IF I go back there, having people whispering behind my back, and feeling like an "outcast" and having to walk on egg shells to make sure that I don't do anything that might land me in the NM office again. OR I get this new job and my current employer turns in my license, which is what frightens me. Please can anyone advise or help???? Please!