DearRN

The most surprising thing about this whole situation is that the people who are having the biggest problem with me aren't the nurses who have been there for 35 years, or even 10 years. They're the ones who have about 3 or 4 years of experience who are now confident in their role as an RN. The older nurses have been nothing but supportive and helpful.

I did explain to her that the walking was too much; and before our conversation, I had tried to explain to the charge nurses that my assignments needed to be close together. They would just look at me like I was whining and tell me this is the way it was going to be that day. I also told the manager that I was pro-active during report, AND that I was planning on discussing my perceptions of my own performance that same day. She didn't even really respond to any of that, except to say that for what ever reason my peers were concerned. I feel like I did a great job before we moved to the new floor and my feet started swelling to the point I could barely walk at the end of the day. I did talk to a trusted friend on the floor who is also an experienced RN, and she agreed to help me figure out where I could improve, and to offer feedback on a regular basis. When this all happened, I didn't know that it was going to be my last day; it wasn't until my doctor's appointment the next day that I was officially taken off work.

Hi! I just found this site, and I'm so grateful because I feel like I finally can relate to someone! Here is my situation: I graduated in August from nursing school and started as an RN on the same oncology floor I had been working on for the previous 3 1/2 years. When I started, I was about 7 weeks pregnant. My orientation was very smooth, and I transitioned very well into my role as a new RN. I was working nights, but waiting for a day position to become available because of my seniority. Night shift was fine, but it didn't agree with my need for quality sleep, especially right then. A day position became available in January, so I started on days just after the new year. Initially, my transition to days went fairly smoothly. I struggled a bit with some things, but because my orientation was so recent, I remembered most things that needed to be done. I worked on days for 2 1/2 weeks without any issues, when we literally picked up our entire unit and moved to a completely different hospital (within the same network). Everyone I worked with came along, but we were suddenly in a completely new setting with a different protocol for pharmacy, for paging doctors/residents, the charts were in different places, new meds were in our pyxis that we didn't know were there... and our new unit was shaped completely differently. This meant walking about 150% more than in our previous unit. At first this transition was difficult, but I felt like I was beginning to get the hang of things. Everyone was in the same boat, struggling to figure out how to get STAT meds in a STAT way, paging the wrong docs over and over again, etc. At our previous hospital, we wouldn't think of leaving before all of the orders for our patients had been signed off. Now, we HAD to leave before signing off orders because it was taking so long. Half of the time, I couldn't even find the chart because one doc or another had it in some other room. We didn't have any of the supplies we needed for dressing changes or any other tasks. Most of the time, I'd get all of my meds ready to give, reach for a syringe in which to draw something up and realize that there weren't any syringes stocked. All in all, lots of time was wasted simply trying to FIND stuff. Because of all this difficulty, a lot of tasks and orders were handed off to the next shift. And this wasn't just me, the previous shift did the same to me, and I understood it to be a temporary necessity because of our transition. Well, a couple of weeks ago (as I was nearing 8 1/2 months pregnant), I had a very rough day where my patients were all on opposite ends of our unit which = WAY more walking than usual. I did my best to tie up all the loose ends before I left for the day, but one of my patients was off the floor for a procedure so I couldn't get to the orders... The next day, I planned on going in to discuss the situation with my manager, explain to her that I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job and wanting to discuss my options for an early maternity leave. When I went in to talk to her, she said that she had been meaning to talk to me because some of my "peers" had expressed some "concerns" about me working the day shift. She couldn't give me anything specific and wouldn't tell me who had these concerns, but only said that it seemed to some of my coworkers that I didn't always know what was going on with my patients and that things weren't being completed when they thought they should be. I was totally shocked by this, because I had repeatedly told people *as we were in report* to please tell me if I forgot something or left something out because I was new. So of course I freaked out, crying uncontrollably for like an hour, all the while thinking of the things that I WASN'T getting done in my last hour of my shift. I expressed to my manager that I really need to know WHAT needs to improve in order to change anything, and asked her to please encourage people to either be specific or to speak directly with me. I told her that I was concerned that these other nurses were not being completely fair with this situation, because I felt like they were expecting me to immediately operate with the same proficiency of my previous position. I said that this is NOT my standard for myself, and I'm really disappointed and concerned about how my peers are perceiving me. At this point, I was looking for some sort of reassurance from my manager that I was still a good RN, but because of all of the transitions going on, we were all in the same boat. Instead, she told me that if these concerns were to continue we would have to seek disciplinary action-- for something she couldn't even specify. All she could offer was a statement that I have the potential to recover from this. That's it. No encouraging words about what I've done RIGHT, no reassurance that this has happened to other people. Nothing. SO... I ended up taking an early maternity leave. That day was my last day. And now, I'm still riddled with anxiety and thoughts about what I really did wrong. I'm frustrated with my manager for not providing what I needed most (she has a history of poor communication), and I'm angry with my co-workers for not coming to me first and going to my manager so quickly. I've started looking at other positions, because I've been in this one for 6 months and we can transfer after that. My questions are: 1) Am I selling myself short by leaving after 6 months after working with these people for almost 4 years now? 2) Is this a good enough reason to look for work somewhere else? or 3) Are my expectations just too high of my manager and coworkers and perhaps I should just accept that this is the world in which I work? Any input would be appreciated, especially encouraging input... And sorry this is so long!