minette

Thank you so much for your replies. I had thought about changing, but my dad gets extremely upset with change, and he loves his nurse & aides. The problem is the nurses supervisor. The nurse herself is a doll. I am trying to let it cool off. Today my dad spiked 104.6 temp and severe shaking. I called a nurse came out 3 hrs later. He had no urine outout for 5 hours. I gave him tylenol, and washed him with lavender & peperment oil & water. He was not responding and then woke up & tol my mom he was goin bye bye & told me Merry Christmas. He told his aide" I wish You were Mine & kissed her. Bp was 154/125, then bropped to 60/38. I was thinking this may be it, and praying for him to stop shaking & be peacefull. He woke up, his temp dropped & he has been talking & ate a bit, he has urine out put. He was alert when the nurse came, fever was 102. Now I bought baby motrin & if he spikes again & I can't get it down I'm gonna alternate so he doesn't get so shakey. I do feel blessed to have him. Believe it or non, we never got along when I was a teen. He's a real special dad !!! God has been with all of us, he has had this over 10 years and did well until 3 yrs ago. My mother in law gox a dx and died within 3 years. Thanks for your kind words.

My dad is end stage Alzheimers and has a swallowing disorder. He talks off & on, and go's in & out day by day. All of a sudden he will ask for soup or Icecream, or even a hamburger. I try to get him whatever I can as long as he can handle it. (of course everything is pureed.) I love that big smile he sprouts when he is happy, it's a blessing. Most of the time he can eat babyfood, but every now & then when he has a good day, we give him a shake by teaspoon. This is such a delight to him. It's those small things that we take for granted that really make the difference to sick, and elderly people. Good nurses, caregivers and all other health care providers are truley a blessing. It seems they go on and are never really appreciated. When people experience an illness or a illness of a loved one, it's a eye opening experience. I for one am gratefull for all of those people who took the time to help and really care.

My mother in law was in a facility, lost 25 lbs in 2 months. She had alzheimers. The administrator suggested hospice. It so happened she went to the hospital, for something else. She gained 30 lbs within a month & one of the aides told my sister in law they didn't have time to feed her so she wasn't eating. Every time we went in we were told she was eating fine. about 6 mts later she passed. Later in talking to one of the aides by a chance meeting we were told she had slept thru her meals daily and was fed when family came. We asked why, they said it was a violation of her rights to force her to eat or pressure her to eat. She wanted to die 3 yrs ago when her husband passed. She gave up. It was sad, but she is now out of her pain. I feel so bad for all those older folks that are so alone. Aides, nurses, caregivers are so important, and so overlooked. keep feeding her if you can, you're probably the only one that does!

It was always my understanding that people are to be helped but not forced. If she wanted to eat and needed assistance then you did the right thing. So many of the people in nursing homes get neglected during meals because of the time it takes. So many times people feel if they are on hospice it doesn't matter, the hospice patient can get ignored and It does matter. She probably never gets fed. That is so sad.!

Hello, I need some advise please. My father is on hospice, and after a few problems with obtaining meds & supplies, things are finally going well. I have one major problem. The supervisor in the office over my dad's case manager has constantly gone out of her way to cause me stress, even to the point of calling me after I specifically requested she not call that day because I was sick & up set . She has made rude and condsending comments to me and now my case manager told me she has no clue what to do, she feels like she is in the middle. The aide has been called in the office and is feeling the pressure as well. This all started because several months ago when she started this I went over her head to resolve an issue. She did not follow thru, I waited 4 months before doing so. Since that, she has been on the case manager, and aides. I feel so bad for the regular RN who is the case manager , she is so up set, but her hands are tied. The aide is getting up set too, because this is all affecting everyone. I was actually told by someone that she was mentioning in the office that she was planning on a surprise visit & I better let her in because she has every right to show up. I have never seen anything like this. She took my dad off a med after a question I had, waited until the medical director was out of town, and asked a stand in doctor, and admitted she did not explain the entire situation. This took 3 weeks. The medical director returned & the case manager called him ,( I had asked to speak to him before he went out of town)and I explained the circumstances & my concerns He continued the medication, and added an additional dose of another med. This was a day after she had called me & was rude and condesending. She told me I could get an rx for the med but would be paying for it by meself! Now because the physician has kept my father on the med,& it is covered, she is on a mission. She pulled the aide in the office the next day & gave her specifics, as don't do anything for me or my mother, just the patient. I have no problem with the guidlines, but it is so clear to everyone what she is doing. This is a shame. My dad is endstage Alzheimers & 2 person assist, he cannot hardley swallow, he can't walk. I have a bad back, my mother has survived Breast CA, a brain tumor, has diabetic neuropathy, and cataracts. She has told the nurse she will be stopping by here. I really don't want her here, she is not at all professional or plesant, and my blood pressure has been thru the ceeling. My real question is why is it that I politely requested she not call, or stop by because of the obvious conflict, and clearly expressed how upsetting this is, that I have absolutely no say in the matter. I have no problem with anyone else, and requested an alternate person oversee my fathers case. But the Case Manager said her hands are tied, she was basically told to back off & asked if she would like to be taken off the case. She said no, but she expressed to me she feels bad for my dad and doesn't want us up set. My mom is so upset. She is actually scared this woman will intentionally neglect my fathers needs to be in control. I have had such a good experience with the help from the aides, the Nurses and after a rockey start things were all going well, considering the reason for their services is my fathers end of life. I really don't want to cause a major problem, but I truley feel she needs to be evaluated by someone. Do I really have to allow her in my home? She has never been here and my dad has been on hospice 7 months. I really don't want to make waves, but I am considering seeking legal advise. Her harassemant has really made this more painfull and difficult than need be. Please advise if there are any avenues I may take to avoid any further frusteration. I asked for informaton on my fathers rights I was told I had to follow hospice guidlines & she was incharge. I have had several nurses out here over the months. I see the compassion and warmth in so many of them. Running from one side of town to the other, dealing with multitudes of conditions and personalities. I have chosen to quit my job, and have been caring for my father for 3 years. I have come this far, and have prepared my self so many times then all of a sudden he will seem more alert & swallow better & even talk. This alone is so emotional, I really don't need to be dealing with control freak who has nothing but her own victory in mind. How pathetic . Any info or direction would be greatly appreciated. I need to get this taken care of immediately because it is really taking the toll on our family. Thank you.