kokoro

I am at a crossroads and desperately need the advice of other nurses. I need to give background briefly, and forgive me if it sounds like a soap opera: As a younger woman I married a man 25 years older than myself and we started a family (two children). At the time things were good for my husband financially--or, at least, good enough for us to live decently without fear for our next meal. I devoted myself to mothering our children. Of course, I knew that eventually my husband would age and I would be going back to work. This happened a bit sooner than we expected when he hit his 60s and his work dried up. I went back to school and earned a BSN and got licensed as a registered nurse at age 40. I obtained work as a med-surg staff nurse in a large, big city teaching hospital about one year ago. Unfortunately, over the years I had developed a condition diagnosed as borderline systemic lupus. By "borderline" I simply mean that I am positive for 4 out of the 11 diagnostic criteria--which technically qualifies me for the diagnosis. However, my symptoms are not life-threatening, although they are debilitating--sometimes extremely so. (I could also technically be diagnosed with fibromyalgia, although it's unclear if this is actually a separate condition from the lupus.) Although we wondered if it would be possible for me to handle the kind of job I am in, we certainly hoped I would because my husband has been unable to find work and as he ages it looks less likely that he will. I find myself in a unit where I am assigned 6 or 7 patients per 12-hour shift instead of the five patients I understood I would be assigned (and under conditions where I really should only have four in order to be able to administer actual *care*). My "12-hour shifts" always drift at least to13 and very often to14 hours to enable me to finish the paperwork, charting, etc. and turn the patients over to the next shift. I have become a ghost/zombie in my home. If I am not at work I am in bed. My children (now 9 and 11) no longer know me. My husband simply cannot do all of the house/child care under these circumstances. I am suffering mentally as well as physically, as I previously defined myself in large part in terms of my role as a mother. It is one thing to go to work for 40 hours and spend the rest of the time with your family. It is another to spend no time at all with your family because you are too ill from the stress and exertion of your job. I fully realize that I am not alone with this sort of problem. I know that people are leaving the profession for these reasons all the time. I need to quit this job but I am frightened. It's not just a question of "the economy" and the difficulty of finding work ("`Nursing shortage'--what's that, a new dance?"). I just don't know where to look for work at which I could likely remain. I don't know what sorts of jobs there are out there for registered nurses that would not rip away every ounce of reserve energy I possess. I admit to being naïve in the work world. I worked before I was married, but it is a different world now. I obtained this job right out of school by being recruited. My question is: How do I find a job and where should I look? I know that many of you have had to search many sources for work, often for many months or even years. I also know that many of you are experienced nurses who have worked in a number of different types of jobs. I need some kind of motherly/counseling help. I need a job that, first, allows me actually to administer care; and second, that is not so stressful, with such long hours per shift that I feel like I've been run over by a truck during all of my off-hours. I hear about all sorts of options: residential care centers, hospice, home nursing of all types, etc., but don't know how to find these jobs. I know that I am risking ridicule by posting this, but I am at the end of what I can endure and don't know where to turn. My husband is trying to help but his knowledge/understanding of nursing and nursing issues is limited. Thank you, k

Thank you for your reply, Brittney. But if I understand you, this mean staying awake 24 hours once a week every week (the first day back to work). Is that right? k.

I am new to this profession, not as young as I once was, not as energetic as I once was (I know, wrong profession), and after my training period I'll be assigned to night shift work--three days, 12 hours per shift. I have a family with two small children and I have difficulty staying up past 9:30 on ordinary days--now I'm faced with this. Try as I may, I can't figure out how to do it without changing my sleep schedule for my four off days as well. But if I do that, I'll never see my family at all. May I ask experienced nurses for advice on: 1) Transitioning to night shift work in general--how to keep awake and alert when you're used to sleeping 2) Living with night shift work on a schedule that includes four days off. I can't imagine living on a day schedule half the week and a night schedule the other half. Do people do that? With gratitude, kokoro