laurieloo

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY, I WILL USE THE TEST YOU TALKED ABOUT. IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION I SEE FESSING UP AT THIS POINT EQUALS TAKING 2 STEPS BACK IN MY RECOVERY. I FEEL IT WOULD HINDER MY MOVING FORWARD WITH LIFE. I'M BEING HONEST AS FAR AS MY FEELINGS/EXPERIENCES SINCE BEING IN GROUP BUT USING THE WORD SUBSTANCES OR PARAPHERNALIA INSTEAD OF GETTING SPECIFIC. WHAT I'M STRUGGLING WITH RIGHT NOW IS NOT BEING ABLE TO SHARE THE WHOLE TRUTH, MY SPONSOR TOLD ME IF YOUR BEING TOTALLY HONEST WITH ME, YOUR HUSBAND AND WHEN YOU SHARE IN NA (I AM) THATS ENOUGH FOR NOW BUT TO TALK WITH SOMEONE WITH SIMILAR LICENSE ISSUES/SHE WOULDN'T RECOMMEND TELLING THEM AT THIS POINT AS I NEED TO GET BACK TO THE ROUTINE OF WORKING TO MOVE ON. I HAVEN'T EVER BEEN OUT OF WORK THIS LONG (ALMOST 3MONTHS) AND FINANCIALLY CAN'T AFFORD IT. WORKING WILL EQUAL A LOT LESS STRESS FOR ME IN CONTRAST TO SOME PEOPLE WHERE IT ADDS STRESS. THANX FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE.

i just want to clear up my post....i was terminated from my job for refusing and when i gave a urine that week it was positive for thc. i know nurseboudin said you were the only one who thought you were a good liar but everyone from my supervisor (the patient accusing me is also an addict)to the people i've been honest with ( my husband, brother, friend ) really had no idea/my husband now petrified at the knowledge how close he came to finding me dead. i used alone after work and my husband works nights. i totally " functioned " during the day as i didn't have withdrawals. my friends and other family honestly have no idea other than i'm a pothead.

i'm being honest about my feelings and fears just leaving out the substance itself, as they say in na we are not intersed in what drugs you used. i say what i need to say or even feel like i don't want to as i've been told to tatle on our thoughts but like i said just leave out the word opiates and when it comes to diverting i have a peeve with calling it that anyway (thats just ME) so i say stealing. i'm torn about whether my moving on will be hindered by license issues , again i'm being totally upfront with na and sponsor. i do get a heck of alot from the outpatient too as we know we grow from identifying and education. thank you for your replys and support, i really look foward to see the responses. sorry for rambling......peace for now.

HI, I WROTE A LITTLE WHILE BACK ASKING HOW TO GET A SPONSOR AND NOW I HAVE ONE SO I VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THE RESPONSES. LATELY MY DISHONESTY IS REALLY EATING ME, I'LL TRY TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT. 9/09 I WAS ACCUSED OF TAKING OPIATES FROM A PATIENT (i DID) AND ASKED TO TAKE A DRUG TEST WHICH I REFUSED. AFTER CALMING DOWN AND RESEARCHING ON THE NET I FOUND THERE ARE PROGRAMS FOR NURSES AND GOT INVOLVED RIGHT AWAY. PROBLEM IS THEY HAD NO PROOF SO I SAID I REFUSED BECAUSE OF MARIJUANA (ALSO TRUE). I WISH I HAD KNOWN MY LICENSE WASN'T AT RISK LIKE I THOUGHT IF I HAD BEEN HONEST BUT I WAS FREAKING, EXPECTING TO END UP IN JAIL. NOW MY OUTPATIENT AND PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE PROGRAM DOESN'T KNOW AND I'M BUILDING A RAPPORT WITH MY 2 GROUPS AND COUNSELOR WHICH I MIGHT BE IN FOR 2 YEARS. I'VE BEEN TOTALLY HONEST AT NA/WITH MY SPONSOR BUT SHE SAID SHE DOESN'T HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THIS ( RN LICENSE ISSUES) AND TO TRY AND FIND OTHER NURSES TO TALK TO. PROBLEM IS ALL THE ONES I KNOW IN RECOVERY ARE IN MY GROUP AND IT'S KILLING ME TO THINK I CAN'T BE 100% TRUTHFUL FOR 2 YEARS. I SAW THE "LICENSE POLICE" ALREADY AND IF I FINISH THE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM THE COMPLAINT WILL BE DROPPED. THANX FOR ANY SUGGESTIONS. SORRY FOR RAMBLING. LAURIE LOO

hi all, i've been in aa for a few weeks now and was wondering on how to get an aa sponsor. do i need to go up to someone and ask before they leave, their isn't anybody i've clicked with yet. it seems very clique after the meetings and i end up just going home. i do get alot from sharing and hearing other peoples stories. i can't change my meeting yet as i'm in outpatient treatment and have meetings/appointments the other days. i'm in my states (NY) assistance program and know i need to be doing all i can to stay sober/reinstate my license which includes mentoring/support from a sponsor. thanx for any advice