joker2

Okay, well I have certainly received more advice than I expected. For those of you that think I am "supporting" or "enabling" him, you are wrong. I do plan on intervening when I know exactly how and when to do it, which is why I turned to this forum for some inside information. I really did not mean to start any bickering over the subject. I am not some kind of moron that doesn't understand what he is doing with that "legit" prescription or what he is really using it for. Which, if you read my posts you would know that I was mearly making a point to clarify to some of you as to HOW he is passing his drug tests. He is being tested for certain classifications of drugs, not specific drugs, which I am sure most of you know the drill. Anyhow, thanks for all your help! I know more about substance abuse than I ever had the desire to and I feel that I better know what I can do. THANKS!

Nadanow, he has a legit script from his doc for vicodin. That is how he is passing his drug tests. It comes up positive for opiates. Period. No I am not cool with him goig to work like this, but I can only assume(since I am not there) that he is not in oblivion there. I feel the coworkers would notice him "nodding off". I am also pretty sure he will get caught if he doesn't admit it first. I know he will. It's just a matter of time. I also am sure they are very careful what meds he is allowed to pass, I would think after two write ups, finding things in his locker and being drug tested on a regular basis it would throw up some kind of red flag. Unless our healthcare system is sooo desperate...I also have thought maybe he isn't the only one there doing it. I really get the feeling there is some kind of a "ring" going on between a few nurses. A few of them seem to be pretty close and defend eachother quite often. Is he buying it from someone else who is stealing it? He goes thru alot of $ with nothing to show for it. Taking patient leftovers and another nurse just signs off as the witness to the proper disposal? Who knows? Trying to assume everything would just drive me crazy. Bottom line...he has problem no matter where or how he is getting it.

For southernbeegirl, it is so odd to hear you say some of those things because he also has burned so many things around this house with cigarettes and we have NEVER smoked in our house before. We just always had a rule about that because of the kids. But I would get up in the morning after having a bad night with him and find the leather couch with burn marks on it, even the sheets on the bed were burned up. (I didn't notice because I was so furious with his behavior, I slept elsewhere) The up roaming the house all night long was just exhausting, I felt like I wasn't safe in my own home anymore. But I said this earlier, I will be going to my first alanon meeting Wednesday night. So, I am hoping there is still hope for him and I will encourage him to come clean with his employer. If not, I will intervene. It may not save my marriage but hopefully it will save my childrens father. What saved you?

I have thought of an intervention before. And I certainly am concerned with the patient care side of things. But there is so much more background than I am able to post here. But to make the story even more complicated, he was pre-med when he was just out of high school. I mean this guy was and still is pretty intelligent. And he can make himself, in a sober state, come off as the most professional person around. But long story short, he flunked out of school at 18 due to a drug problem, spent some time in rehab and came out not 100% cured, but not what you would consider a problem either. He has always drank more than I liked, but the current problem is new. He has always been able to hold down a job and like I said, no one but his family knows what is going on. I am pretty sure he either is not getting high at work or not getting to the point of oblivion that he gets to when at home. In fact, I know he is not doing it that way at work. I mean, at home he can't stay awake for longer than ten minutes at a time. I believe it's called "being on the nod". The co workers would definitely notice if he was asleep, I'm sure. So this is something he has battled for along time and I thought he was okay, but here it is twenty years later and it has reared it's ugly head again. I know some say to leave him. And he is not currently living in the house, but he is my husband, I do love him because he is my best friend and I do see it as a disease. If this marriage ends, it will be because he chose a lifestyle that I do not want for myself or my children. I do not feel an intervention is the wrong thing to do at all. I just know how he feels about counselors or therapist and as he has said before, "I can talk that crap all day". He is very good at knowing what people want to hear. An intervention will only work if he is ready to accept help and I think we might be close.

Then how is he passing drug tests? He told me himself that they are testing him and they watch his every move since he has been written up twice before. They even went through his locker and found some things that should not have been there. He said they sent him down for a test right then, but could not do anything because he has a script. So instead of terminating him they suspended him. I found a bag full of the things that was in his locker(pictures of our kids, the pad lock, etc) It's just all very scary. At least he is now , for the first time today saying that he has been selfish and has gone to far. also, that he needs to try to get help for his problem so that he can be the dad and husband he should be and he will not come home until he does that. This is what he told the children tonight. Now, does that hold water? I don't know. But I guess it's something. I was honest with the kids and told them not to get their hopes up, but to pray he has the strength to folow thru. I've made sure he knows I will be there to help him and support him. But we can not have our children finding drugs and needles in the house. So the choice is his. But I still question how he is passing the tests? I just don't get it. What I do get is I do not think he can do this on his own, he needs professional help. I hope that is in his plan otherwise, all attempts to quit on his own won't work, right? I mean, usually. Statistically speaking, people normally can not just stop cold turkey? I wish I knew what it is he is shooting, but I don't. I know that night at the ER it was a small brown bottle of some kind of sedative type stuff. The Doc said something that started with a "M". I really think it's just whatever. I found little vials, this was the first time I had seen this bottle. But how is the nurse manger not noticing that this stuff is missing from the pyxis? Do they not inventory? I thought that was standard.

I really have been doing alot of research on the subject. So much that I feel it has consumed my life. My goal is to get him help but I know from what I have read that this stuff does chemically alter the brain and I can tell that he just is not the same person he was a few years ago. I do not want to hurt his career, which is why I have not talked to his employer, I do not think you can FORCE someone to hit bottom. For Jackstem, I will be getting ahold of you for further information. As far as NA goes, I will be attending my first meeting Wednesday night. Thanks to all of you, you've been a big help. My very first concern is to keep our children safe. He has fallen asleep behind the wheel too many times and I can not risk the kids safety when they are with him. I know it is important for him to be with his kids, but not at their risk.

Thanks to all of you for your responses. I guess the really difficult part of it all is that he went back to school at age 35 to pursue this degree. He stopped working so that he could dedicate himself to school, while I supported our family. It was a rough few years. But he graduated with a 4.0, sole valedvictorian of his class, works all the O.T on his floor he can get, I think he really is a great nurse. But no one knows the truth. I am assuming the nurse manger knows something is up, she gave him the corrective action notices along with the corporate lawyer. And I also believe he is already in the hospitals "Work/Life program" or something, because after his first write-up, he told me they made him sign some kind of contract stating he would work there for two more years or they would have to turn him in to the board. But now I happen to find out that, coincidently the program this hospital offers is two years. Also someone asked how he is still working there if his drug tests come up positive for opiates. Well, I am assuming since he has a legit prescrition, they can't do anything about it. His parents had to call 911 a couple weeks ago because they found him unresponsive with three needles and a bottle of some kind of drug in their basement. He gets taken by ambulance to the E.R, wakes up, refuses treatment and walks out. The doc had the bottle. knew it was stolen from his employer, but said they could not report him because of patient confidentiality. We couldn't believe it, we thought for sure this was it. But to no avail. The doc and nurses tried to talk to him about his problem, but he says everyone exagerates and he has it under control. Isn't there some kind of Code of Ethics for healthcare professionals? I thought they would for sure inform his employer. How is he getting this stuff w/out getting caught?

Although I am not the RN in the family, my husband is, I am very concerned about him and thought maybe one of you can give me some advice. He just graduated a year and a half ago and over this time period, has developed a problem with opiates. He started out with a valid prescription for vicodin and muscle relaxersand I am now finding hypodermic needles hidden in various parts of the house. His behavior is frustrating and we have two children. I believe this stuff is coming from the hospital and he has been suspended twice for mishandling patient medications. Actually, I know that is where it is coming from, because of the codes on the things I have found. He denies he has a problem and refuses to get help. His drug tests come back as positive for opiates, but he has that prescripton to fall back on. Do I report an anonymous problem to HR or let the chips fall where they may? And how can he possibly be getting away with it? I am very worried about him, as is our children and his parents. We don't want him to go to far someday. Please advise, as you are the ones who would know how to best handle this situation. Thank you.