Lools

also.... someone pointed out that I would be taking a coveted spot in nursing school away from someone who really wants to go... I would hate to go into this half-heartedly and end up dropping out, when someone who really desires to be a nurse could have had my spot. I would feel really bad about that.

Epona, ukstudent and ruralgirl08.... fantastic points and advice, thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I am leaning toward ukstudent's choice #2, especially since hubby and I had a serious conversation about it last night and I realized that he really doesn't want to wait that long to have our first child. If it weren't for school he would want to start trying now. ukstudent - you pointed out the 2 choices that my hubby and I have been deliberating over. Our deliberation has been exactly what you stated. It's almost like you've been listening to our conversations! Epona - You pointed out the stress and work of school...I really don't feel ready for all that right now. Hearing someone from the outside (you) confirm that reality really helped. I certainly don't have rose colored glasses when it comes to the realities of nursing school. I just spoke to a classmate who is about to start her second year of nursing school at my college, she and I were Chem lab partners. She told me, and I know, that I will need to hit the ground running once it starts. I don't feel ready to do that and make the sacrifices necessary for school... missing out on spending time with my new nephew, my family, traveling, getting pregnant, etc. etc. It may sound selfish, and maybe I still am in a selfish phase of life, but that is the reality. Ruralgirl - I agree that since I am having these doubts I need to explore why. Jumping into nursing school next month, full of these doubts, won't be getting me off the right foot. If I knew I was called to nursing, I don't think it would be such a dilemma. I really think I am 99% ready to make a decision on this. Thank you all so much! :tku:

kathy, thanks for your thoughtful response! i don't believe that i am going in to nursing to please my mom, and i have actually had this discussion with her to make sure that's not why i'm doing it. she can see me as a nurse, but she has also suggested other professions, like ot, to me. i haven't thought about pta or ota but will look in to those. you are right that we definitely can over-analyze when making a big decision.. and i've totally been doing that. i have thought many times, "what else can i be if not a nurse?"...and other than a mommy, i don't know the answer to that. i think a lot of what's driving me right now is fear and doubt. i'm fearful of wasting more time and money and putting off having children only to find out i don't want to be a nurse part way through school. and i'm afraid of going through school, having a baby right after graduation, and then being a stay at home mom to possibly 2-3 kids for over a 10 year span, all the while having put my family into more debt from nursing school loans.... maybe i should make a pro v. cons list... that's a good idea. i don't see myself ever working full-time as a nurse, unless maybe i was a school nurse. it would most likely be a part-time/per diem career for me.

I don't think you are loony at all! I spent over an hour on my knees in prayer yesterday morning about this! I ultimately want God's will and need Him to give me a peace about a decision so that I know it's the right one. I don't know if it is my calling. Can I do it, yes. Would I be a good nurse, yes in the sense that I have a ton of compassion for people. Do I want to do it, not sure. I think I've just been mindlessly plugging along at it all this time and have lost sight of why and if I really want to do it. And now that I'm at the time of my life when I'd like to start a family, it is making the decision harder. My hubby is leaning toward trying for a baby instead of school, but he just wants me to be happy. There are so many factors weighing on my decision and it's been difficult for me to put aside all my thoughts and just listen to what God wants. Your advice is definitely good! I will be in prayer again this morning!

I have thought of all 3 of those things and they are absolutely valid points. Just more of the stuff weighing on my mind! (Your baby is a good typist by the way! ) Thanks for your thoughts!

Thanks so much for your encouraging response! I really appreciate it! Good luck in school!!

Thanks for the advice! I truly appreciate it! I have thought about asking for a deferment... I'm just so indecisive right now, but I can't be much longer. I need to make a decision soon, so if I'm not going to start the program I can give someone else my spot. I've thought about starting and see how the first semester goes and if it's just fear holding me back... but my hubby isn't keen on that idea since it's thousands of dollars for one semester just to find out if I like it or not... I know I'm not old by any stretch of the imagination, but if I were 4 years younger I would go through with it. But now it's getting to be baby making time and school and the urge to start a family are happening all at once.

Chapis, great questions. I actually looked into a Speech Pathology program at a local State University on Saturday, but I wasn't impressed with the program. I've also thought about Occupational Therapy, but there are no schools in my area that have an OT program. Sometimes I just want to be a stay at home mom and other times I feel like if I don't finish my degree that I will feel unfulfilled...although I don't know if I'll even use the degree after graduation. If I do go through with school, I'll likely be ready to pop out a baby at graduation and won't even go to work as a nurse. I don't want to waste all these credits I've earned.... can't they just add up all my credits and give me a degree in "undecided"? :chuckle Such a dilemma!

I also posted this in Student section Want some advice from actual nurses too.... Hello Everyone, This is the first time I'm posting on allnurses.com although I have been stalking the website for over a year. Please bear with me, this is long, but I am at a major fork in my road and need some advice.... Here is my dilemma. I am 29 years old, married for 2 years, no children yet. I have been pursuing nursing for about 5 years, took time off to get married and move, but basically I have been taking pre-reqs for that long. My mom is a RN and I grew up never wanting to become a nurse because I saw how burned out she was, although to this day, after 35 years in nursing, she still loves her field. She looks at it as a call to service which is totally is. I am done with my prereqs and about to start a BSN program next month, embarking on a 2 year journey through the hell that is nursing school. I'm more scared than excited. I am also at the time of my life where I would like to begin having children - if it wasn't for nursing school we'd probably start trying next spring. I don't want to be just graduating from nursing school at 31-32 years old and having my first child then. But I also don't want to look back years from now and regret not finishing nursing school. My goal is/was to become a school nurse. (ps, I am a Licensed Massage Therapist, but no longer practice due to tendonitis) I am a very compassionate person, I love people, I love helping people, I think people are fascinating. I am a lighthearted person and I think I have a great sense of humor - which I think you need to have to be a nurse! I started working in health care at 18 yrs old, taking care of severely handicapped adults, and also worked in mental health as a nurse assistant (not as a CNA) for about 3 years in my early 20s. I have been pooped on, puked on, hair pulled, smacked, etc. As I found myself working in health care in my early twenties I started to think I should just become a nurse. While I loved taking care of people and I loved the rewarding feeling I had when I would walk into a patient's room and they would say to me, "oh thank God it's you!", I am having doubts that this profession is 100% for me now that I am on the cusp of nursing school. Admittedly, I've gotten kind of spoiled over the past 4-5 years I've been out of the health care field and in cushy office jobs. I also don't want to go to school, take out $40k in loans, and then have to be paying back those loans while having kids and staying home with them. I think I might like the idea of being a nurse more than the actual day-to-day reality. I presently have a great part time job with a local teachers' union, although it is a little lonely at times as I am by myself in the office most days and I can't say that I get a rewarding feeling from this job like I did when I took care of people. It is low stress and I have all the same holidays and breaks as the teachers in the public school system which is great. I can keep this job through nursing school, but will have to cut back on some hours because of clinical and my employer is talking about hiring someone to come in on the day I have clinical... which makes me a little nervous. Anyway, I'm having a hard time committing to a decision right now and am very conflicted. I've been back and forth about it since early this year, while on the waiting list before I even knew I was officially in the program. I know can do it and be good at it in many ways. I admire nurses immensely and think that those who truly love what they do are amazing and I love the aspect helping people and making a difference. I worry that I don't have the toughness or thick enough skin for what a lot of the job entails. I don't mean the excrement side of it. What I mean is that I don't multi-task all that great and I tend to wither under stress. I'm also not good at making crucial decisions (as you can tell from this post! ) and the idea of having someone's life in my hands is petrifying! I'm about to spend at least $40k and 2 years of hell in the BSN program and I'm going into it full of doubt and not 110% sure that it's what I want to do. I have been blessed in that my husband makes enough $ that I won't have to work when we have children and will be able to be a stay at home mom, which is what both my hubby and I want. But because of our income, I don't receive financial aid of any kind so school is all out of pocket. I've been dragging my feet about making a decision for months because I've already put so much time, effort and money into the pre-reqs. I've been praying a lightning bolt comes down from heaven and tells me what to do! I love people. I want to make a difference. But I'm so conflicted. Any advice or even just prayers would help greatly! You may be able to read between the lines and see something I don't! Thanks!!

Hello Everyone, This is the first time I'm posting on allnurses.com although I have been stalking the website for over a year. Please bear with me, this is long, but I am at a major fork in my road and need some advice.... Here is my dilemma. I am 29 years old, married for 2 years, no children yet. I have been pursuing nursing for about 5 years, took time off to get married and move, but basically I have been taking pre-reqs for that long. My mom is a RN and I grew up never wanting to become a nurse because I saw how burned out she was, although to this day, after 35 years in nursing, she still loves her field. She looks at it as a call to service which is totally is. I am done with my prereqs and about to start a BSN program next month, embarking on a 2 year journey through the hell that is nursing school. I'm more scared than excited. I am also at the time of my life where I would like to begin having children - if it wasn't for nursing school we'd probably start trying next spring. I don't want to be just graduating from nursing school at 31-32 years old and having my first child then. But I also don't want to look back years from now and regret not finishing nursing school. My goal is/was to become a school nurse. (ps, I am a Licensed Massage Therapist, but no longer practice due to tendonitis) I am a very compassionate person, I love people, I love helping people, I think people are fascinating. I am a lighthearted person and I think I have a great sense of humor - which I think you need to have to be a nurse! I started working in health care at 18 yrs old, taking care of severely handicapped adults, and also worked in mental health as a nurse assistant (not as a CNA) for about 3 years in my early 20s. I have been pooped on, puked on, hair pulled, smacked, etc. As I found myself working in health care in my early twenties I started to think I should just become a nurse. While I loved taking care of people and I loved the rewarding feeling I had when I would walk into a patient's room and they would say to me, "oh thank God it's you!", I am having doubts that this profession is 100% for me now that I am on the cusp of nursing school. Admittedly, I've gotten kind of spoiled over the past 4-5 years I've been out of the health care field and in cushy office jobs. I also don't want to go to school, take out $40k in loans, and then have to be paying back those loans while having kids and staying home with them. I think I might like the idea of being a nurse more than the actual day-to-day reality. I presently have a great part time job with a local teachers' union, although it is a little lonely at times as I am by myself in the office most days and I can't say that I get a rewarding feeling from this job like I did when I took care of people. It is low stress and I have all the same holidays and breaks as the teachers in the public school system which is great. I can keep this job through nursing school, but will have to cut back on some hours because of clinical and my employer is talking about hiring someone to come in on the day I have clinical... which makes me a little nervous. Anyway, I'm having a hard time committing to a decision right now and am very conflicted. I've been back and forth about it since early this year, while on the waiting list before I even knew I was officially in the program. I know can do it and be good at it in many ways. I admire nurses immensely and think that those who truly love what they do are amazing and I love the aspect helping people and making a difference. I worry that I don't have the toughness or thick enough skin for what a lot of the job entails. I don't mean the excrement side of it. What I mean is that I don't multi-task all that great and I tend to wither under stress. I'm also not good at making crucial decisions (as you can tell from this post! ) and the idea of having someone's life in my hands is petrifying! I'm about to spend at least $40k and 2 years of hell in the BSN program and I'm going into it full of doubt and not 110% sure that it's what I want to do. I have been blessed in that my husband makes enough $ that I won't have to work when we have children and will be able to be a stay at home mom, which is what both my hubby and I want. But because of our income, I don't receive financial aid of any kind so school is all out of pocket. I've been dragging my feet about making a decision for months because I've already put so much time, effort and money into the pre-reqs. I've been praying a lightning bolt comes down from heaven and tells me what to do! I love people. I want to make a difference. But I'm so conflicted. Any advice or even just prayers would help greatly! You may be able to read between the lines and see something I don't! Thanks!!