carriesm8

Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. I see you are having a hard time, and i forgive your contempt.

The title of this thread is like the title of an article in a newspaper or a short story. It is meant to be catchy and not necessarily literal. I know that many people allowed the strain of nursing school to affect their relationships. It is a very common notion known by professors and students alike. People arent themselves in nursing school. They have to pull all-nighters every single week. Their lives revolve around pre-clinical work and the next exam grade. They all have all A's just to get into a program, so a lot is riding on their success. It is a stress like no other. At the end of the day however, of course i am to blame. She may be equally to blame as well, but since it is I who is named "Heartbroken", of course i accept the responsibility for it. I was so afraid of the difficulties i was facing that i rushed us into our love in the midst of them, not knowing the toll they would take on my judgement and psyche. I was responsible for the timing. I should have waited.

I realize i wasnt entirely clear in my initial post. I only wanted to gather the stories of others so she would see that i am not alone in allowing (nursing school) stress to strain my relationships. We did argue but i think it was a pretty equal exchange and was mostly on the phone. You see she lived in another state which further complicated our situation. Equal though it may have been, i dont think i would have argued as much without the stress i was under. We had 15 years of great friendship and what we became resembled nothing of that time. The last time she was here (my graduation), she said she was going to start coming to my state 1 week per month and left a lot of clothes and such here. Then, after she returned home, she decided that we should just call it quits. I think the surprise of it all is what hurts the most. We had made it through the rough patch and it was about to be smooth sailing. Im sure the distance played as much a role as the stress, but may not have been such a factor without it.

Thank you WitchyRN, i hope i can one day see it that way. Otherwise i will beat myself up for quite sometime for not being able to handle it all.

I used to believe that you never really know a person until you see them in an extreme. People from day to day may seem like good individuals but if you put them in a circumstance like say, a burning plane, one may step on children to get out while another wants to help others out first. That is who they really are, and that may not be visible in day to day living. But nursing school is a more chronic extreme that takes a toll over a period of time. I witnessed many of my classmates breaking under stress and i dont think they "chose" to be that way nor do i think it "speaks volumes" of who they are. I hope you dont hold your patients to such a standard for how they handle stress because when you are sick or in pain, you will not be yourself, and should be forgiven for any undesirable behaviors exhibited during that time. I am not comparing myself to a sick patient, but rather demonstrating that how we handle stress doesnt always "speak volumes" about who we are. Thanks for the input, but id rather not give up on my love just yet.

I have been in nursing since 1992, and last year moved from an LPN to an RN. My true love and i got together just before i started the 1 year program and we were great! We had known each other for 15 years prior. Also, she lived in another state during this time. The stress of nursing school (as well as being broke since i couldnt work as much) was so heavy on me, that i was not the easiest person to get along with. I was certainly not myself at all and after i graduated, she decided we should break up. I wanted her to understand that i wasnt myself because the pressure was like walking around with an anvil around my neck for an entire year. There were 3 divorces in my class as well during that year. If my fellow nurses could describe just how much pressure we are under, maybe she could forgive me and give me another chance. I have taken care of people for 16 years and i am devastated to have lost my true love in the process. Thanks.