Vroom

Thanks for all of the replies so far. I'm hoping to get more ideas. I'm afraid, like in Strong-willed's hospital that we'll end up "talking the talk" and not able to "walk the walk". CatlynLPN, does your institution start w/ a written policy and then inservice all the staff or do you know how your discipline policy was created? Do people report other people who have "bullied" them and that "bully" then gets points? I don't think I quite understand. Thanks for any and all help! Vrooom

We've had a long history of horizontal hostility (AKA bullying, horizontal violence, etc.) on our unit. So we decided to try to make some changes. We started by purchasing and showing a video re: nurses and horizontal hostility. Now our nurse manager is wondering which way to go to enact something to cause changes. I personally believe administration has to develop a policy and then find a way to enforce it and show people that they mean business. What have your hospitals/organizations done to conquer horizontal hostility? Thanks for any and all feedback. Vroooom

Having recently done extensive research and a presentation for our L & D unit on "Horizontal Hostility" between nurses, I don't think you should ask yelling preceptor what she would have done. To stem the abuse, you need to tell her what she did/said (specifically) and how it made you feel. Then you can talk to her about how you would like to be treated and what consequences might occur if things don't change (ie, have to work on a different uint/different hospital). I can't find the resources, but one researcher stated that something like 96% of the abusers quite their horizontal hostility when confronted by the victim telling them how their behavior has impacted them. If that doesn't work, then you need to pull administration into this. Good luck!:redpinkhe

Thanks for the great info, Libra1 & Nurse_Advocate. I appreciate any and all info you can give me. Our mentor program is also separate from our preceptor program but we're just in the very earliest stages (this is only the 2nd group of new nurses that we have mentored). Thanks again!

Hi, there, I have been asked by my employer to be a mentor for a new nurse. Our hospital started this program to try to retain new nurses and some of us "older" staff have been assigned to new nurses. In meeting w/ my new mentee, she has listed "stress" as one of her most concerning challenges (don't we all?). So, I was wondering if anybody has any good resources or references that my mentee and I could share? I would be willing to purchase a book for her (and also myself) if there was something out there that others have found helpful. I thought maybe a personal journal would be good for her as I find journaling to be very helpful for myself. Thanks! Vroom

Thanks for the replies, Magz53 & BlueRidgeHomeRN. It's starting to look more and more like I need a change. Unfortunately, I'll be trying to change positions at a time when there will be several nurses out on maternity leave on OB. Oh, well. Guess admin should have tried to rectify the situation a long time ago. I really have to agree that a job is not worth being miserable. Thanks again:redpinkhe

Thanks for the info, jhhrn. I really need to do some soul-searching and decide where I need to go from here. I really do enjoy my work but most of my coworkers just make it miserable to be around them. They are so critical of EVERYBODY! But they are so non-confrontational that they just continually trash everybody behind their backs. It's so childish and so what I don't want to have to deal w/ anymore!

Thanks for the ideas, Cnovice, The nurse that was doing the talking about me was the charge nurse who just walked into the room afterwards. The other nurse was still doing the blowby and I had already done the deep suctioning several mins. before she entered the room. I had done the deep suctioning after the MD had asked somebody to try that, and the nurse doing the blowby didn't feel comfortable doing it. So I don't think that is what bugged her. But I hope to get a chance to speak w/ her in private and find out if there was something that offended her. As far as another job, I live in a rural area and the next nearest hospital w/ OB would be a 60 mile drive, one-way, so it's not really an option right now. But thanks for the suggestions.

Thanks for the reply, Queenjean, I can SO relate to how you're feeling. I thought this was going to be my dream job--my "niche". But it sure has turned into a nightmare. I've given it 2 yrs. and keep thinking it will get better but it just gets worse. Good luck on getting your job back. I'm sure your former boss will be more than happy to have you back.

Thanks, trmr. :redpinkhe I really feel like sometimes I'm losing it as I never used to feel this way. In fact, I've never felt so out of place in my whole life. So, basically you're happy you quit and made the change? I've given this 2 yrs. now and things just haven't improved so I feel like it's time to move on. Unfortunately, in a small hospital, there aren't always openings where I'd like to go. The head of the float pool said she'd make a position for me at the hrs. I want if I want to come back. But the OB head nurse, when I've talked to her about my unhappiness on her unit, has said, "I only have a .5 position in the float pool for you now", even though I don't think she is the one who hires/fires for the float pool. I know she appreciates me but that doesn't help much when I have to work so closely when the people who are downright nasty. Thanks again for your support. I'll have to do some real soul searching now. I would even take a pay cut just to be someplace where people enjoy their work and are supportive to others. P.S. I reread my original post and should clarify that I went to do the computer charting (in the pt.'s room) only after I recognized that the baby was stabilized and we were just waiting for the MD to do her assessment and decide what to do next.

Hi, guys, I haven't posted in awhile. My other posts have pertained mainly to a bully I had on the floor. That has improved but I still feel like I don't "fit" w/ the OB unit I'mon. Everybody is so critical of each other and constantly criticizing each other (behind their backs, of course). I am ready to move on. It's not that I'm immature (I've been a nurse for 30 yrs.) and have never had this problem on any other units or jobs I've worked. I feel like a lot of the the "older" nurses are dumped on and not respected in the least. WE are a multi-specialty unit w/ Peds also on the floor and several Peds nurses have asked me how I can stand to be treated like I am. I'm about ready to give up! For example, yesterday I offered to come in extra and they didn't call me until 45 mins. before the shift started. I figured they'd assign me to women's health, since I was getting there about 15 mins. late but instead they'd assigned me to the only labor pt. and she had been pushing for 3 hrs. I had to walk in, with very little report and take over. Luckily, the night nurse who had been taking care of her stayed as she was crowning. She wanted to be the baby nurse but when the baby was born, she was kind of flaccid and retracting and started grunting. I was taking care of the mom and helping the MD when I noticed the nurse (who has no ICN training yet) was giving the baby blow-by. I went over and deep suctioned the baby and tried to stimulate her by snapping her feet. Her color wasn't too bad and heart rate was good. The doctor was still working on mom's laceration repair so I tried to get the computer charting done so I could help w/ the baby. Another night nurse came in and then left and sent the day charge nurse in who went and got a monitor to check the baby. I ended up following the baby to ICN and admitted her and started her IV (My first admission and ICN IV start) and got the baby stabilized. Well, when the night nurse came back at 7 pm, she was getting report on another baby who was in ICN for observation only and when I walked back into the report room, it was obvious they had been talking about me or somebody else as they stopped talking midsentence and it was obvious they didn't want me to hear what they were saying. Now, I may be paranoid, but I'm wondering what in the world I did wrong! And, if I did something wrong, I wish people would tell me so I could improve my practice. I'm debating asking that night nurse but feel like I'd just like to ignore it and go on as things like this seem to happen all the time. I don't know whether it's the "OB nurse mentality" or if it's just a problem in our hospital. What do you all think I should do? I love the work but hate the backstabbing coworkers. I'm tempted to go back to the float pool, where I didn't have to deal w/ this politics crap. Help! Vroom

Has she had thyroid function testing done? This, too, can cause irregular bleeding. CJ

Thanks for all the supportive words! I am trying to ignore her and just do my job but when it affects the care of my pts. (like when she and her "clique" don't help me when I have 2 or more laboring/delivering pts.) then it really angers me! As far as "talking about me in report", she verbally assaulted me in front of the other staff! I was giving morning report on that 1 ICN baby that was going out to the floor that day and she jumped all over me about not removing the gavage tube first. She was hollering and belittling me in front of all my coworkers. They all were looking away, nobody would look me in the eye, and I felt like I was being beat up in front of a crowd. I realize that she will eventually burn most of her bridges but I don't know if I can take this abuse until then. I don't really care what she says to other people but I feel like when I have to work w/ her, I'm so self-conscious and second guess myself, thus making it seem like I'm inept and not as efficient as I'm used to being. I realize it's a big head game and don't want to let her win but, being a 10-yr. breast cancer survivor, I realize life is too short to put up w/ this crap. Thanks again for all the insights and support! Vroom

Thanks, Suesquach. I've also been seeing a therapist to see whether my lack of self esteem (since the abusive clinic manager) is affecting how I'm being/perceiving being treated. It's so hard as I really do love my profession. I've even debated changing occupations but I'm 52 yo and what can I do now and make my same salary? Thanks for the empathetic ear! Vroom

Hi, guys! I am a middle-aged nurse and have been in nursing for almost 30 yrs. (hospital, community, teaching) and am a certified Women's Health NP. I worked at a family planning clinic as an NP for 6 yrs. and left due to the atrocious management that also included a manager who was verbally/emotionally abusive. So I left that position to return to the hospital I'd previously worked (med-surg) for the float pool. Just 2 yrs. ago I decided I should get some OB experience to go w/ my Women's Health NP. Well, I had been forewarned about the "difficult personalities" of staff on the OB unit but I thought that wouldn't be a problem for me as I've never had an issue w/ coworkers in the past. Well...when I first started there I noticed that 1 staff person about my age was constantly being criticized and cut down behind her back. I didn't want to confront the offenders but couldn't stand listening to this "gossip" so I'd leave the room if this would start. So this nurse eventually left and guess what! I am now the scapegoat. It's not the older, experienced nurses who are causing the problems but seems to be this one charge nurse (we have 6 charge nurses on our staff) who is "out to get me" (as several staff have chosen to share w/ me). One time she verbally lambasted me in front of the whole staff during morning report for not removing a gavage tube from an ICN baby who was going out to the room w/ his mother (even though 2 prior shifts of nurses did the same thing and this was only my second shift in ICN). Because of that, I was deternined to confront her but felt like she'd eat me alive alone so I chose to confront her in the company of our unit director, so she could mediate. Well, it helped for about 2 wks. and now I feel like we're just back to square 1 if not -1! For example, one day I had 2 L & D induction pts., both of whom received epidurals and delivered on my 8-hr. shift. It's routine that when we are busy w/ a L & D pt., other staff will check on our other pts. Well, during the first delivery, another younger staff nurse (who this charge nurse tends to gravitate toward) called me on the intercom telling me my other pt. needed something. I asked her if she couldn't please check on my other pt. and later thanked her for it. Well, seems she "checked" on my pt. but "have to admit I didn't do any charting on her" (we use computer charting). I must have looked surprised when this charge nurse (who had a pt. assignment of 4 PP moms/babies, 2 of which were discharged) said, "She was helping me". So, I am at the point of returning to the hospital float pool but consented to our dept. director to give it "one more month" before making a final decision. I really enjoy OB and my dept. director has placed me on a committee to do annual mandatory urit education and has made me a student preceptor as she believes in my abilities. But this situation has so tarnished my view that I find I can't hardly enjoy my job. Unfortunately, we're a small rural hospital so it's not always possible to avoid working the same shifts as this charge nurse works. Darn! Any insight would be much appreciated. Vroom