11:27 am, back from work. So anyway, I got to the testing center 45 mins early, and went up to the second floor. The receptionist gave me a piece of paper stating the house rules and I scanned it quickly. Oops, can't bring my cough candies into the exam. I asked her if I could buy something to drink before I went in. She said ok. I bought a cool can of diet coke down the hallway, right next to the janitor's closet. I went back to my car, dropped off paperwork and my cough candies and went back upstairs. I had to wait 15 mins more as the testers were helping this other gentleman out who was late for 30 mins. The indian guy reiterated the house rules again and asked for my index finger to scan on the small pale blue and white fingerprint reader they have by what I call the 'control room'. They gave me an erasable magnetic board to write on and a felt tip marker and offered me ear plugs. I took the ear plugs. I didn't need them but they seemed good for a future concert or event. The indian guy directed me to # 3, the station I chose since it seemed comfy. They don't tell you that the testing area is as cold as a walk-in freezer. Good thing I brought layers as I had a cold. After the usual pre-test questions explaining how to use the computer, I took the test running. Running as in I have no frickin' idea what the question was asking. Anxiety went up a little. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and said to myself, it doesn't really matter if you get all the questions right. All they want to know, and here's the thing they also don't tell you, is if they pass you, would you kill somebody that first day of work? If you won't, then they did their job. Enlightenment filled me. I know that as ill-prepared as I was, I won't kill anybody knowingly. I'll be terrified to do anything that first day though. . The joys of rationalization in the midst of impending hopelessness. Normally, I'm a careful exam-taker, reading the question twice before reading the options, looking at the stem and qualifiers, the syntax of the question etc. But for some unknown reason, I sped through the questions like I did with my practice exams, just answered what I felt was right with no proper justification, rationale or anything. Minus the 2-3 dosage questions I had to properly calculate, the rest of the delegations, prioritizations and SATA questions I breezed through. In half of the time I normally would do a similarly-structured exam, I answered twice as many questions. Was I foolish to do that? But, of course ! ! ! Would I do that in a clinical setting, probably not. But I was so sick of waiting that I wanted to get the hell out of that room as soon as possible. Then came the incessant clicking. Also one thing they also don't tell you is that in that same room, some applicants take other licensure exams or whatever test they need. I didn't know that some of the tests involve typing and clicking the mouse and then more typing. It was driving me nuts. Here I was trying to concentrate, and here was this increasing din in the air of click-click-click-type-type-click-click. Aargh ! ! ! Why can't they be more quiet? I passed the 2 hour mark and still the computer hasn't stopped. I was now cold and irritated and ****** off not because of the exam itself but with that fat asian guy squeaking back and forth on his desk chair and that incessant click-click-click-type-type-click-click. I wanted for the computer to stop and so I could hurry myself away from that dreadful place. Since I was in terrified-running-away-from-zombies-mode, i didn't look at the time nor the number of questions, I was just scanning then clicking then scanning then clicking hoping that it would all end soon. Thankfully, the computer stopped spouting all these nonsense and I sighed a bit. I hurried myself out and took a deep breath. That place was driving me nuts. And put my hands in my pant pockets since they were cold. I felt something in my left hand, it was the ear plugs the indian guy offered me. . I was so glad for the whole experience to be over and to relax, I bought $20 dollars worth of tokens and a hawaiian pizza combo meal at an arcade close to the testing center and drowned myself in flashing lights and weird noises. I looked at the CA BON permanent license verification yesterday and this morning. I didn't see my name yesterday after the umpteenth time of checking, I started having thoughts of whether I had provided my SSN or did I have anything missing or incomplete from my file. Doesn't matter, as I checked early this morning, with the website saying that the list was updated Sept.30, I saw my name in nice blue colors.. Passing didn't give me much of a relief, I was more relieved when I had those seemingly endless amount of tokens to forget my horrible testing experience. P.S. My mom was kinda worried for me all throughout the trip south and back since she didn't see me studying or even glancing at my books. I had a cousin who a month before she took the exam, shut off her social life, holed herself in her room and prayed everyday. Not to say that any of that was over the top but my aforementioned effort was so underwhelming for such an important exam. So during my deliveries today, I called her up and asked her if she could check the CA BON to see what the results were even though I knew I had already passed. She said she didn't see anything but I had my name written there with a license expiration of May 2010. I lead her on and she finally realized that she was reading the terms of my license and that means that I had in fact passed since they already gave me a license. She congratulated me and knowing how understated she is, she must have been jumping for joy inside. After this long-winded account of my NCLEX experience, here are some things I learned: 1. Sleep early. For me, i think that helped the most and this advice if for all you who are working, mothers with kids or just the tired and exhausted. 2. Trust your intincts. You know this. You got this. Now whether you spend all that time having a running conversation in your head for choosing this answer over this one is up to you. I would say blink, then the first answer that pops up is the one you go with. 3. Everybody feels that they failed the exam. Again, this is a very different exam. It's meant to make you feel the way. 50/50 like Two-Face in the Dark Knight Batman movie. It's impartial in its intent or some would say pattern-based. So there's no point in looking for anything positive about it. 4. The test itself doesn't really matter. It's not a question of 'if' when passing the NCLEX to have a license. It's only a matter of when. 5. Finally, my last piece of advice is to leave your cough candies in the car. Have a diet coke instead. It does great for your already ulcerated gastric mucosa.:typing