LTCLVNinCA

Hi Everyone, First off this is my first post, but I have been a lurker for a long time. I just felt now would be a good time to ask you all a question. I apologize for its length... I worked in a LTC facility. I enjoyed the residents and the type of work. This place is known for not being able to keep their nurses. I went to work there for my first nursing job right after passing the NCLEX (early January). I stayed until early April, and I left because something just didn't feel right about what they were leading me into. I worked on PM's and during this shift, there would usually only be ONE nurse working the station. During AM's they have two nurses plus a ward clerk. The station (60 residents) is divided up between the two nurses and each nurse gets about 30 residents. During the PM's the nurse gets all 60 residents to herself. I was only left alone once, because I was a new grad and told them I was not comfortable handling all 60 residents by myself. However, they did tell me that within the month of April, I would be expected to handle the station myself. Therefore the majority of the time I was there I had 30 residents. Now, these are not alert and oriented residents. Most if not all are tube feeders, and only three of the 60 on the station are able to ambulate. One night I was left alone after the other nurse working with me had to go home because her daughter was sick. I tried to find coverage for her, but no one would come in. I called my supervisor, and she bluntly told me "You are a nurse. Handle the station like a nurse. You do not need extra help. Step up." I did "handle the station" that night, but the next day I quit. It was way too much for me to handle by myself. I had two residents who were coughing up blood I had to send out to the hospital (never had to do that before, and I received little orientation on it). I had four falls, and two CNAs who were MIA. I tried to call the other floors for help, but they too were working with only one nurse to their stations. Is this a normal ratio for LTC? Is it normal for a nurse to be left with 60 residents? I did get told by one of the day nurses that I needed to stick up for myself and make sure they always had someone else with me because "I would put my license in jeopardy" if I worked it alone. I am in between a rock and a hard place it seems. I cannot find a job where I will be working AM's even though I need it. All of the offers I have been given are for PM's. I called my supervisor at this last place and asked if I could come back to work. She said yes. Now I am having second thoughts. I figured if I had to work PM's I would rather be in a place I already knew, than go through another orientation somewhere else. Does the ratio seem excessive to you? How do I juggle the needs of 60 different residents, plus the other duties I am to perform? I am wondering if I made a mistake by asking to come back. I know there are others out there who have much more experience than I do and that is why I am asking for advice. What would you do in my situation? I need a job (I am completely broke) but don't want to go somewhere I would be putting my license in jeopardy.