Anona

Thanks again guys. I guess the part that was dislodged was the 'catheter tip,' if that helps to clarify. On a peripheral line it would be the white part. It's the part that keeps the air out. Only the purple cannula part was visible. This was made far worse by the fact that the clamp was apparently also open at the time it was discovered. Anyway, if I can help anyone else from going through this, it gives me some solace. For days now I have been reading about all of the horrible things that can happen with a pulmonary air embolism... If I do continue in nursing, I will always quadruple check the catheter tip AND the clamp. Nona.

Thanks for your words... it helped a little. part of the reason it happened was that i was so freaked out about hanging the wrong med or having air in the LINE i didn't even notice the port had come off... it's these things i don't know to check for that really scare me. i can't believe that i was so worried about a med error-- most med errors are FAR, FAR, FAR less serious than this. have been reading about central line PE on the 'net. it's really scary stuff. i keep seeing pages that talk about permanent damage and high fatality rates. i'm seriously considering not going back to work this week. even if the patient is ok (and i pray to god she is), i'm just not confident in myself--and can't handle the risk that i may harm someone. don't know what i'll do instead... i'm so ashamed and worry about the potential impact on my family if i can't work.

I had been having an okay time on orientation-- it was stressful but I had had a good night last night when something AWFUL happened. Now I'm wondering if I should even be a nurse... It was toward the end of my night shift a few days ago and I was changing antibiotics. The patient was aleeping, and had been very uncooperative and refusing meds, so I didn't turn on the overhead light, just worked under the dim light of the room. A few minutes later the pt. started to complain of chest tightness. I grabbed my preceptor and a dr. Dr. said she looked alright. Then, a few minutes later, a surgical resident came in. He noticed that the port on the patient's CENTRAL LINE was off. He brought me in the room with a bunch of residents to tell me how serious this is (and I understand why. it IS serious.). I wanted to die. At that point the patient was feeling somwhat better, and the port was capped. I cannot express how much I hate myself right now. They're giving the pt. a CXR to make sure he doesn't have a PE (which, in my mind, he definitely does have). This is a CANCER pt. I am horrified that I've added to his pain and placed his life in jeopardy. This is EXACTLY the kind off stuff I'm terrified of as a nurse.... The nurses on the floor told me to calm down and go home. They told me that mistakes happen and I shouldn't lose it over this. I went home, thew up a couple times, sobbed, and then went back to work. Saw the pt. walking and talking, but I also know pt.'s can walk and talk with a PE. I found the nurse manager and told her everything: I wanted it all to be out on the table. She said that she would right an occurence report, but that I was a good beginning nurse and to take it as a learning experience... BUT I can't stop crying. I realize the seriousness of this. It could have been much worse. I go back to work in a couple of days, but don't know if I can or even SHOULD face it. If I'm incompetnent I don't want to work as a nurse. It's too important of a job. I didn't even NOTiCE this: what might I not notice in the future, however vigillant I am? Can't stop crying, I even called a therapist (an APRN, haha) and made an appointment for tomorrow. Anyway just venting... need advice. Am I too dangerous for this? And if I'm not, will I even be able to practice again with all this fear? Nona