muffin416

Hi there! I would like to share my experience during the orientation phase at a local hospital as a new Graduate Nurse. I went to this hospital for employment as a Registered Nurse because I originally worked there in the past in the Emergency Room as an Access Representative and I really liked it! I had no problem in nursing school, receiving excellent grades. I have a great personality and am people oriented. When I started this facility, starting from the second week on forward, I was continuously being yelled out in front of patients, sometimes over trivial things that could have waited until the appropriate time when I could be taken aside privately and given feedback. Almost every day, I would get negative feedback from the nurse manager, I did not receive any positive feedback. I would be humiliated in front of those poor patients. They even asked why the nurse manager yelled at me in front of them. They felt I was a good nurse and did not deserve being treated as I was. I was not preceptored properly. I was taught in nursing school that when I graduated and got my first nursing job, I would work with a preceptor every day for the first three to four months. The nurse manager, inturn, told me to work alone and ask questions only if necessary. Apparently, they just could not be bothered to teach me. I basically taught myself the majority. I never knew from one day to the next whether I would be screamed out. My self confidence is shot. I got to the point where I became afraid of doing anything. To this day, I am trying so hard to regain the confidence that I once had, but it's hard. They tried to destroy that. I was so poorly managed. They felt that my performance was not up to par. I explained to them that how could my performance be up to par if almost every day there was continous negativity. I have applied to other facilities, such as rehab centers, nursing homes, in hopes of a better working environment. I am so nervous to start somewhere else due to lack of confidence. Can I get that confidence back and how? What do you think? Hope to hear from you soon.