Ens1987

There are hospitals closer, but being a newbie, I picked this hospital b/c it's the more adnaced one out of our options and also, my nursing buddy was going there... well, now she has dropped to part time and I'm not allowed that option. I don't really know if I want to be a nurse... it seemed like a good career choice until I realized how much stress is involved with it... and like I've said... I've only been in clinicals for a few days. Honestly, I'm scared of my instructor b/c my stepsister (who failed out of the program last year but has started again this semester) said that when people went to ask her questions about Pharm she told them that since they didn't grasp the info, she would make sure hey wouldn't pass... and they all failed by one percent. I can't be witchy like a few of the other experienced nursing students... that's just not me... but it seems to be the students she likes. Then again... it could all be in my head.

Alright, so to start, I'm in LPN school at this lil rinky dink community college in Southern Illinois. Um, I am having major issues w/ clinicals. I have to drive an hour to Clinicals in Missouri and have to get up at 3:30 am (0330 to be correct I guess.) I'm only on my 3rd floor day in Orthopedics and have missed clinicals today b/c my insulin pump stopped working in the middle of the night and I woke up sicker than a dog. I hate clinicals. I have no idea where anything is and have mostly CNA's in my clinical group, so they know what they're doing. I have no experience in nursing and was observing in dialysis on the first clinical day so I wasn't there when the rest of the group found this stuff out. I was assigned to a patient that had many demands last Tuesday and didn't even have anough time to do an assessment on her. The nurses aren't nice at all and I've already been criticized by a few of them, CNA's as well. I am broke as we are encouraged not to work during school, and even so live in a SMALL town w/ no job opportunity and have no time to drive half an hour for work. I FEEL like my clinical instructor doesn't like me as much as the other girls, and trust me, we have a couple suck ups. I'm paranoid she hates me and that I will NEVER get the hang of this... and no support from my family except... you will do this b/c we are paying for school and if you fail, we won't help you. I'm totally stressed out and dreading clinicals tomorrow. Everybody seems to have gotten the hang of clinicals already except for myself. Can anyone help me out here?