supportneeded

hi my name is julie. i have been a nurse for 15 years and have loved almost every day. i can easily say it is my passion, however, less than a month ago, i made the first and only med error of my 15 year career. i hung a med that looked like pcn, but was not. it was a cardiac toxic drug and resulted in the almost immediate death of my beautiful pt, and the end of my life as ive known it. my spirit is broken, my ability to take the next breath, severely challenged. and the internal battle against the thoughts that are there to defeat and destroy me are constant. i am feeling desperate to connect with anyone who has lived through this same horror. i have been trying in vain for over a week to find some way of linking up in a support group for nurses trying to get thru something like this. of the 310,000 med errors in this country last year, 7000 were fatal! where are all those nurses?!! are they all suffering alone like i am? PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE BEEN THRU A SIMILAR SITUATION, CONTACT ME. I BELIEVE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER SURVIVE IN A WAY OTHERS MAY NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND. i am outraged that a support network does not exist for these nurses even with documented sucides reported. any suggestions? thank you and i am so sorry for the somber theme. julie