NHmommy

Yes, you can work as a CNA while in nursing school. I'd look for a job that has tuition re-imbursement. Most hospitals are so desperate they will pay CNA's to upgrade to LPN's and LPN's to upgrade to RN's. Some nursing homes do as well. Look around and good luck!

If your hospital does not have available grief counselors, at the very least maybe you could give a list of names of grief counselors in your area. From experience I know first hand talking about the loss immediately doesn't amount to a hill of beans...it takes days, weeks, even months before the fog clears and you can think straight. You can also pass on the like for www.nationalshareoffice.org . They have meetings in many cities/towns around the nation. Kudos to you for taking a step forward in something so important.

each school has different dates for the NLN exam. Call the schools and find out. You can take it anywhere...it doesn't have to be at your school of choice. Just send the grades to the schools you're applying for.

Does anyone know how hard it is to get hours when you work per-diem? Is it possible to work per-diem in two places so you can get full time pay? Just curious as to what the best course of action is. Thanks!

Hi Amy, Yes, I go to SHARE in Manchester, and I do remember talking to you. I'm the one taking classes at the NHTI in Concord, and we talked about being an LNA before joining an RN program. I'm starting nursing classes in Sept, and I'll be fininshing my LNA class in Sept. I hope I can juggle working and school at the same time. I'm not sure how to do a private message, but I'll talk to you tomorrow night if you're going to be there. Hope all is going well with you. -K

"Every individual situation should be evaluated individually" I agree, and I'm certainly not arguing that point... All I'm saying is every mother should be INFORMED of what choices she may have, and acknowledged that she lost a child, not to be made to feel like she has the plague, or that her feelings (no matter what they are) are unjustified. I think the people who have sufferered losses who posted here, second that point. Delivering a stillborn or having a miscarriage is MUCH different than losing a 25 y/o son with whom I'd assume one would already have memories of. I'm not sure what your point was in posting this.

I don't think I said anything about everyone wanting something (other than acknowledgement that their baby was 'real'). I meant that most people don't know that they can have things (memorials, photos etc) because no one tells them it's ok. All I'm saying is that it should be offered, and options should be clear. When I had my first loss, the first thing they said to me was "what would you like us to do with her?" I was hurt, sad, angry, confused, not in my right mind etc...and I had NO idea I had options. What I 'wanted' them to do was make her alive! (which obviously wasn't an option, but remember when you're going through this you're not thinking clearly) To me, that question was absurd at the time. I'm in no way implying everyone should or will choose the options given...all I'm saying is every mother should know that there ARE options. To this day I don't know if the hospital took photos of my baby. They said they would, then when she was born I was rused for a d&c so I didn't see them take any...and no one told me if they actually did or not, and even now 16 months later I'm too embarrased to call and ask... I just think there should be direct info given out as to choices, options etc. If someone opts not to use any, that's their right.

Thanks. I actually got that info from a nurse at a LTC facility in Derry who teaches an LNA class there. I was surprised it was that high... When I was taking A&P (I'm working on my ADN, but plan to do the LNA thing in the meantime) there was a woman there who worked as a tech at Concord Hosp nights, and she said she started at $15 but ended at $19 when she left after shift differentials and such. I really don't want to work in LTC...it's just not me. BUT...it would be nice to get my $$ back, and I'm sure you get great experience there too. However, I'm trying to figure out if it would be worth it, or if I should just forget about the re-imbursement, and just try to work in a hospital right away.

I'm currently enrolled in an LNA program, and due to finish in Sept. I've heard the payscale is anywhere from $11-17/hr. Quite a stretch. Currently there is a tech job available at Elliott per diem that I'm interested in, but I heard that if you work in LTC you not only get your $$ back from the LNA class, but sometimes they offer a sign on bonus, and often the pay is more b/c it's a less desirable job. What have been your experiences w/ salaries, and would you rather work in LTC or a hospital setting?? Thanks!

I think "I don't hear/see a heartbeat" is probably the best response. NO ONE wants to hear the word 'dead' from anyone...even if they know it's true. Even now I never think of my babies as "dead". I say "their heart stopped beating", "there was no heartbeat", or "they are in Heaven". "Dead" is never a word I would use in that situation...and I was horrified to read the previous post about the doctor telling the mother that her baby was dead. How cold and calus. As far as what to do while waiting for the doctor to confirm??? Well... unfortunately I don't think there is much you can do/say. I certainly wouldn't give false hope. I know w/ my 16 weeker, the nurse kept telling me "well, they're still small at this stage, I might just be missing it". But, I had had h/b checks a zillion times in weeks prior, and from 10w on there was never a problem finding it...so I knew she was just trying to make me feel better...but it didn't work. Be honest. Either just say "I'm sorry I didn't have any success, all we can do is wait for the doctor to come" or "Is there anyone you would like to call while you wait?" (I was alone when I found out our news, and I would have LOVED to have called my husband). Also, if you are able...print out a u/s photo, and give it to the mother. I know w/ the u/s the confirmed my dd's heart stopped, I really wanted that last photo, and I was afraid to ask for one.

i'm so sorry for all that you have been through. like you, i wonder if it will be too difficult to see someone else in the situation, and i have also considered what people (rn's w/ much more experience) will think if i 'try to make a difference'. but...if you do make a difference for just one mother/family...then maybe you won't feel like all your personal heartache was for nothing. just a thought....

I think that's great, and I hope to see/hear about this in more hospitals. A person is a person no matter how small ~Dr. Seuss

I'm so sorry to hear about your twins. It does help me to know that even though only a short time has passed, you are able to help others who are in a similar situation. I know for a fact I'm no where near ready for that now...but I hope someday I will be. I'm going to SHARE meetings, and they RN group leader had her s/b baby 17 years ago. She still gets teary talking about it, so I know its something you carry with you forever. I think it's great that your hospital has a program to support ALL mothers. That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing your story.

One other thing.... NEVER SAY "it's ok, you can try again" or "at least you have other children" These comments don't amount to a hill of beans when someone is losing the current baby, and all the hopes and dreams that come along w/ a pregnancy. If your mother passes, it isn't appropriate to say "well, you still have your father". Of course you're greatful to still have the other parent (or child in case of pg/infant loss) but it doesn't lessen the sadness of losing a loved one no matter how long they were a part of your life.

Deb, you are right, and I'm sorry if I made it sound like a earlier loss is 'better'. Of course a loss is a loss, and sometimes it is harder when no one knows/acknowledges that you ever had a baby, or even the dream of a baby. I know that first hand, and I didn't mean to make it sound less legitimate. My first miscarriage was a blighted ovum. I was 11 weeks pregnant, and I was devistated. Everyone seemed to make light of it b/c there was no 'baby'...but in my head there was, and I had to mourn the sibling that never was for my daughter. No one got that...not even my husband. I think most women have dreams of pink or blue as soon as the line appears on the HPT...we're not thinking of the blastocyst, zygote or whatever...it's a baby from day one! Sorry if I was less than clear in my previous post. As for 'volunteering' ... Thanks for your thoughts on that. I know I'm no where NEAR ready for that now (I also have 2 years of school left and the tests to pass) but I'm hoping when I'm older and wiser, I can be there for someone when no one else is. Thanks for posting your message.