I know this post is several years old and I hope you have found another profession that you are enjoying more than nursing. I did want to chime in though in case you have not.
I did enjoy nursing the first few years as a nurse however I had the same thoughts as you and same physical reaction to it as you. If you are still in nursing (I hope not for your sake)
I wanted to leave nursing after my first day on the floor in clinicals but I did not because my mother insisted I become a nurse. I regret not following my instincts to get out. Now,I have been bedside for 15 years. I traveled for 5 and that helped a lot because I did jump on the gravy train of covid and made a ton of money so that was helpful
But covid is long over and traveling now sucks because it's very hard to stay somewhere for more than 3 months now and people are just shittier than ever.
I don't want to be a NP, I would love to be a CRNA however I don't have ICU and really don't want to get the ICU experience required unless it was in the NICU.
So I am stuck I really don't know what to do. I just started a staff job and know I am not going to be able to do it.
SO get out! safe your self from the utter hell that is nursing. Literally NO ONE respects you, the patients, the doctors, etc. and EVERYONE wants to dump their responsibilities on to you. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN !!!