Good morning and or afternoon depending on where you are all located. I hope all is well for you. I am a nursing student attending University to earn my BSN. I have a bit of a dilemma which I hope you all might be able to give some assistance, advice, and or reassurance. I currently work in an Emergency Department as a Technician. I've been an Emergency Department Technician for almost a full year now and the job is quite exciting and energetic. I have the opportunity to share in my patients' lives and help in the immediate acute care treatments. Here is my dilemma though. We have an extensive behavioral and or mental health section of our ED and a brand new unit for behavioral health. As a Tech, it is my responsibility to perform patient watches from time to time. This includes both intoxicated patients, mental and or behavioral health patients, and intoxicated behavioral health patients.
Last year, in December on Christmas Day, I was working an evening 12-hour shift. I had a heavily intoxicated patient come in who also happened to have a mental health disorder. At first, she seemed pleasant enough but that soon turned sour as, thereafter, she would repeatedly attempt to get up and walk around the Emergency Room without any clothes on. I was on a one-to-one watch with her. She would repeatedly scream the place down, and call me every derogatory term you could think of. We had to medicate her twice which didn't help. We had to call security no less than 4 times to restrain her. Towards the end of my shift, she had tried to elope and I had managed to gently coerce her back into her room but as she was getting back onto the stretcher, she turned around and kicked me as hard as she could in my abdomen, injuring my liver, bruising it and part of my colon, which caused me to have internal bleeding and bleeding during BM for almost two months as a result. I was out of work for one month as a result and had to have counseling sessions because I was very stressed out, scared, and uncomfortable as a result. I am afraid I had some PTSD from that experience.
I have a family member who has a mental health disorder and you would think I'd be used to that by now but, unfortunately, I am not. He doesn't act up all the time but he has his moments and days where he forgets to take medication or something influences his behavior such as the news and or politics. Or something scares him in a movie he watched or show etc... But I love my family member even if sometimes I have to show him tough love, gently of course.
My dilemma is this. Every single time I have to go and do a one-on-one watch or if I have to help ambulate an intoxicated patient or a patient who has taken drugs, same thing with a patient with a mental health problem, I continuously become scared to death. Almost like I am having a panic attack. Twice I've landed in my ED because I felt like I was going to pass out as a result. I guess I am still having some PTSD. Now I love all the other aspects of my job. I have extensive experience working with Cardiac patients and love Cardiology. I worked as an EKG Technician for a year etc and worked with Oncology patients as well. I know that Nursing is the field that I want to continue to work in. My result and goal is to become a Cardiac Nurse working with patients in the CVICU, Post-Operative Cardiac Care, and Pediatric Cardiology.
I need to know how I can get over this fear of working with mental health patients though because honestly, I become petrified when working with them from my experience last year in December. I am not complaining or whining. I love working in healthcare and I love all the other aspects of my job and my future career but this is a hurdle that I am struggling to overcome. I thought exposure might help me but, unfortunately, it seems to only be making things worse. I recently was doing a patient watch for a couple of hours, and those couple of hours felt like an eternity to me.
So if anyone has some advice that they could potentially offer me, to help me out so that I may reach my full potential as both a nursing student and a nurse in the long run, then I would be greatly appreciative. Because I will have to go to the behavioral health units as a nursing student during those clinicals and those particular clinicals will be the toughest for me if I can't get through this now.