ER_RN_

Hi everyone! I have been an RN for a little over a year now. I started my nursing career in the emergency room and absolutely loved it. Background: I am on an antidepressant as well as an anti-anxiety medication which I have been for years. While working I became super depressed. When I become depressed I feel absolutely exhausted, and can not sit there without becoming teary-eyed and crying. I actually had to leave work and come back to finish out my shift that's how short-staffed we were. I am not sure if it was situational because I was with an older nurse who has been a nurse for over 30 years and then a per diem nurse who definitely thinks she is above everyone. I'm not sure what sparked it exactly but it was awful and I feared going back to work. I only felt like that when I was scheduled to work with certain people; I would purposely switch shifts if possible to avoid working with hose select people. I also lacked support from my manager which did not help. I am also not sure if I was working overnights that played a role. When I was with coworkers whom I called my "safety blankets" I was fine. I ended up leaving that job in May of this year to pursue my BSN full-time. My ER unknowingly was going to close in July of this year so everything happens for a reason! I plan to graduate in May of 2024 with my BSN and would like to find another job. One coworker I am very close with told me she could get me hired at her ER; but here is the thing, I do not want to work any shifts unless I am with her because I am scared to have another depressive episode. I also do not know if I should not go back to the ER because of how taxing it is on one's mental health. I adore working with pediatrics and psych has always interested me but thinking about starting a new job where I am "fresh meat" and a not-very-experienced nurse while not knowing anyone makes me feel like I am going to experience another depressive episode and have to leave that job for good. I think I am just reaching out to the nursing community for any advice, if anyone can relate to me, and/or any nursing jobs that are more laid back possibly? I am not sure but this is my career and I love being a nurse but this eats me alive. Thank you all so much in advance! Melissa